Today is also day 2 of no-work-free-aircon in the office since all the bosses and the whole Sales and Marketing team are in SMX. The rest of the Production team can sleep and watch and slack off however we want to while they work their asses off in the exhibit.
That's the "Sweet" part.
The "Bitter" part is Bry is part of the Sales and Marketing team meaning he's been there since yesterday and I can't get to spend time with him, make lambing and harot him in the office like we always do whenever we're left here along with the rest of the Prod team.
I don't think I can still make him lambing even if he were here because of what happened last night... I don't think I can make him lambing AT ALL anymore because of what happened last night.
Yes, there definitely is trouble in paradise and I can't take it back now.
It was really stupid and impulsive for me to have said what I said last night. Maybe I wasn't ready to settle down at all but like what I told him, I just have to prove something to myself first. And saying that doesn't mean that I don't love him and I don't want to settle down with him...'Cause I do. I just want a smooth ride from the day we say "I do"...
His interpretation of what I said: "Di ako sure kung gusto kitang mapangasawa kaya di muna tayo magpapakasal".
I know it's not my fault that he can't interpret it the way I want him to but I just want him to understand that I want to iron out everything before we take the plunge...
And I want him to understand that he's the one I want to spend my life with, not some guy I've already met/I've yet to meet.
(So, yes, I went to your blog after checking Facebook.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, naalala ko kasi yung blog entry na sinulat ko before, when I was forcing myself to get over Kizia. May nagcomment doon na hindi ko kilala. Tapos nagcomment ka. Tapos nagreply siya (anonymous guy) sa comment mo.
Person: "Time. All you need is time."
You: "E panu kung wala nang time?"
Person: "No time? I don't think so."
Tapos narealize ko that the rest of the entry might not be relevant to your feelings, but I'll keep my optimism and say this: all you need is time. I don't think he'll pull back just like that, because of one line. Kasi, diba, we always go, "shit, I lost you!" tapos sa dulo hindi pala?
Not that I'm saying it's definitely the case, of course. But we'll never know.
So, ayun. Give it time. But don't forget to fight for it.
Time for him to understand? Baka kasi pag dumating yung time na yun, late na. Alam mo yun?
ReplyDeleteI've always been fighting for it. Yun na nga lang ata ginawa ko...
Yun lang. But (and this is something I can't learn to do myself) huwag kang magpepresume. I bet alam rin niya kung kailan too late na to understand. So let it sit, but don't let it sit too long. Ipaglaban mo, oo, but the ball is on his court now. If anybody knows what you're going through, it's him. Unsettled lang siya siguro.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely hard when you want to make him understand, but he doesn't want to hear it. I don't think it's about giving it time, Lovey. I think you both just have to hash it out and hopefully, this time, he'll understand the real reason behind your hesitation.
ReplyDelete:)
I love you! Plus one. :)
Henrik: Thanks. Siguro nga...
ReplyDeleteLove: We talked about it. And mukhang okay naman na. I mean, we're back to normal now... We love you too! :)