First of all, I don't have any ideas about raising a child. All I have is the knowledge of how I wanted to grow up. That's it. I don't even know how to carry a small child. I always get this vision in my head that I might drop the little thing or that I might be hurting the kid. It's just scary.
Second, I don't think my character and personality is tailored fit to raise a child. I am childish, selfish and most of the time, reckless so I don't know how I'll get by.
Third, I am terrified of the idea that I might be raising her wrong. I might miss something or not know something that she might blame me in the end. I wouldn't know it in the process. Malalaman ko nalang pag anjan na.
Lastly, I am scared. Just plain scared. I don't know what the future will hold. That scares the hell out of me.
All I can do is live one day at a time and pray my hardest that she grows up well.
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