Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Someone take me to the beach.

I had the very strong urge to flee last night. Just pack my bags, leave a note, and go. I don't now where we'd go off to but one thing's for sure: We're going somewhere near the sea.

I've often fantasized about living near the ocean, just waking up to the sound of the water hitting the shore, smelling coffee with that salty breeze everyday. It's probably not a good idea now that I have a daughter who I want to finish in top schools and universities but it was a damn good idea when it was just me.

I don't know why I've always had this fantasy. I don't surf and I don't think I will ever surf. I am so damn afraid of the sea and what's beneath its surface. I hate the feeling of sand in my slippers and I definitely can live without the stiff hair after a stroll by the shore but still, whenever I feel the need to relax, I picture myself on a beach with a beer in my hand, watching kids dig in the sand. There's just something about it that relaxes me.

If I could live near the beach, I would. I bet it would be a much simpler life, without everyone hustlin' every damn minute, without the pressure of actually succeeding in a career path you wouldn't have chosen for yourself in a million years - aminin, kahit naman workaholic ka at sinasabi mo sa social media na dream job mo yan, di yan ang pinapangarap ng puso mo - and without the expectations of becoming someone who is "important" to the world.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Supermommy's back!

So I am reviving my mommy blog, http://supermommychronicles.blogspot.com, because I was struck with inspiration and motivation the past week. I totes love it when that happens so now, I am making the most out of it.

Without further ado, I present to you the new and improved Supermommy Chronicles!


(Shameless plug. What are you going to do about it?)

Monday, November 10, 2014

I think it, Thought Catalog puts it in words I couldn't have strung together myself.

"Be friends. If you can’t talk about everything and work through difficulties as friends, you stand no chance of making it as a couple."
Quote lifted from here.

Couple I've known for the longest time, here you go.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Birks


(Apparently, these are called "mandals" now.)

I've always wanted a pair of these babies. First fell in love with them back in high school, when all the cool kids wore them with our school PE uniforms during the school fair. Unfortunately, "mukhang pang-construction worker paa mo!", as per my college friend, Kayette, and I prolly won't be able to pull these off so I'm not buying myself a pair. If someone gives me a pair, though, I most definitely will wear them no matter what vegetable my toes look like.

I love these things. Fo realz.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Suicide.

I used to think that suicidal people are so pathetic, they deserve what they'll do to themselves. Lately, though, it's like I'm beginning to see the appeal of it all...and it's scaring the crap out of me.

Just a few minutes ago, I was drafting my to-be suicide note while thinking of all the possible ways I could take my own life (without pain and without any kind of visible marks in any part of my body). I had to pull myself together. I can't let it win. I know that compared to a whole lot of people, my problems don't seem that bad but I've come to the conclusion that I am not strong enough...I am not strong AT ALL. I haven't been trained to fight this battle...I haven't been trained to fight any kind of battle and in my head, I have a pretty crappy life:
  • I am pretty sure I am screwing up my daughter.
  • My relationships - all of them - are so fucked up, they might as well end up killing themselves, too.
  • I am broke bankrupt.
  • I am unemployed.
  • I am not where I want to be at this point in my life. High school Ale is so disappointed.

I know I should focus on all the good things going on for me (I still live in an actual house, get to eat 3 times a day, have internet access 24/7, etc.) and I guess I do some days but most of the time, I get stressed out about how everything's not how I want it to be. It's so much harder to manage the stress now, too, because 1.) I don't want to bother anyone with my problems and the fact that I just want to dwell in them, 2.) I can't afford a night-out (or even a damn night-in) with my friends or even by myself, and 3.) I'm quitting smoking.

It's all so frustrating. And confusing. And scary.

I need (professional) help, don't I?

Friday, October 31, 2014

The Universe gives you what you ask for, nevertheless.

Do you remember asking for something specific (you think) from the Universe before and here it is, granting your wish...catch is you don't really want it anymore.

This happened to me just a while ago. I've just woken up from my nap and there it was, the answer to my prayers...two years ago. If we were in 2012, I would've jumped at the chance but we're not anymore. Now, it's just funny that the roles have been reversed and I'm finally the one who's all "Meh." Feels damn good, to be quite honest.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

These two, my gahd.


Monica: I’m still not done not wanting to talk to you. 
Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right. 
Monica: What? 
Chandler: Well, that’s what we do. You know, I, I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then, you know, you think I’m all cute again. 
Monica: Really? I’m really tired of being your relationship tutor. You’re gonna have to figure this one out for yourself… You know what? If you’re too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don’t be in one.

YES I'M WATCHING THE SERIES AGAIN OKAY! DON'T JUDGE ME. I'M NOT FEELING 100% OKAY LATELY SO I NEED THIS.

Anyway, I've been really relating to these two since the first time I watched the series but I realized just now that I'm more of a Chandler than a Monica especially in my current relationship. Which is quite absurd considering I'm the one who hasn't been single for more than 6 months since I first started dating.

"Safe space" doesn't exist anymore!

Not even Twitter! It's so hard that I can't rant or rave about anything on Twitter anymore. I mean, I can't even post how proud I am of my weight loss without sounding like I am trying to fish compliments from those who can read my tweet.

Anyway, I really am proud of how I look now. I've been working really hard and I've sacrificed a lot of free chips, free cakes, and free steaks for me to reach my goal and I'm finally here! I tried on a few clothes I've been holding on to since I got pregnant in 2010 and they look better on me now than they did before! Now I just have to firm up (eh?) the pregnancy flabs and I'm good to go.

I'd post photos if I weren't too self-conscious of how Haggardo Versoza my face looks like. Also, my room is too messy to show the world.

I need new clothes! Universe, if you're reading this, I terribly need to get that opportunity...of course, not only because I need new clothes but also because... I just need it and you probably know what it's about 'cause I keep on talking to you and God about it.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

OS X Yosemite

So I updated my Mac OS to OS X Yosemite:


Please don't judge my choice of software/applications.

Now I truly want to dispose my Samsung tab, get an iPad (Mini), and finally get myself an iPhone (6 plus please Lord!) again.

Consumerism will be my downfall. Damn you, Apple, and your sexy gadgets!

Monday, October 20, 2014

The Power?

I forgot how powerful wish lists and vision boards are. I just posted my wish list for this Christmas last Monday, right? Well, my mom decided she wanted to get me something and actually got me this:


Tomorrow, I'm going back to wish listing and vision board-ing my ass off.