Monday, May 2, 2016

Self-esteem lvl: 99999999999

Please allow me to humblebrag a bit because I am really insecure of my writing skills (yes, I do this for a living but really my faith on my work is at a negative percentage) but my client paid me 200% more than what we talked about and he just awarded me his new project.

Good God, You are real. Thank You!

(on a different context tho)
(also the JaDine context but we all know that)
(maisingit lang ang JaDine #fangirl #alldayerrday)

Edit (1:30AM): Client just bumped me up to team leader. Thank You, dear Lord, for the abundance that is mine.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Damn it, Clark and Leah!

So I just finished rewatching On the Wings of Love again and can I just say that I've always wanted to do this on my wedding day since I was in gradeschool:

and now that you two got married before I did, people would think I copied this from you guys because I've got the OJD all the JaDine fans have and I can't have that...

Sunday, March 27, 2016

This is the shallowest blog post I will ever publish.

Believe me, people, I will not disappoint.

Growing up, I was led to believe that I was pretty. Everyone - literally, everyone - liked me. Like-liked me. Neighbors, classmates, schoolmates, churchmates... I don't know what it was. Maybe I was just raised in a small enough community which didn't really produce movie stars but back then, when someone didn't like me, like me, I would shrug it off and say "meh, baka mahilig sa pangit."

Highschool was pretty much the same, with both boys and girls courting me even with the knowledge that I was with someone. Same with college. I had a blast going out on dates during those rare times I was single.

Now, nothing. I feel so harassed with everything. I am roughly 20 pounds overweight. I am so damn tired of everything all the freakin' time. I sometimes even get the feeling that my very own boyfriend don't find me pretty enough. Yes, the same guy who's been infatuated with me since second grade, that guy.

I don't know what it is. I should really work on this self-confidence thing if I want to Alice Dixon my way into old age... Right?! Alice Dixon?! My god, that woman's got it going on!

Wednesday, March 16, 2016


22 more How I Met Your Mother episodes and I'll start binge-watching On The Wings of Love. I need to see the entire series without the commercials and the weekends and the waiting. Yes. It's happening.
I can't die now.

I'm feeling a lot of stuff these past few weeks enough to unleash the paranoid girl inside me. All of these things I'm feeling lead up to a heart least that's what WebMD told me.

Anyway, I will be having myself checked one of these days because I seriously can't die anytime soon. My life is at a point where I ain't complainin' 'bout nothin' and everything seems to be going my way for the first time ever. I am at a point in my life where the voices in my head have been silenced by the magnificent God I've been fervently praying to. As the cliche goes, "I am not exactly in the place where I want to be in but I am definitely on my way" or something to that effect so please, Dear Lord, spare me from any illness. I promise to let go of the stinky habit of smoking, no matter how hard it is. Just don't take me yet.

So weird typing out those words when just a few months back, I've been contemplating strangling myself with a belt but yeah. I need to live. If not for me, for my daughter. Please Lord.

Friday, February 26, 2016


On the Wings of Love is ending tonight. JaDine finally revealed that they've been #TeamReal for quite a while now. That Araneta wedding playing over and over again in my head.

The feels.

Just. Too. Much.

I've never fallen in love with a Filipino loveteam since Carlo Aquino and Angelica Panganiban and I'm feeling things all over again.

I'm coming out.

I'm a JaDine fan.

As in legit-fangirling-whenever-I-see-them-anywhere JaDine fan. Not really on the same level as those fans who follow them literally everywhere, but still a fan. Proud of what they're achieving now and totes not bitter-ing all over the place since James said "Nadine... I love you" in Araneta. Wow. Feels good to be a "matured" fangirl.

Friday, February 19, 2016

With all that said, I still won't be voting for him to bag a seat on the Senate because I believe that he is such an incompetent politician. He better stick to boxing. Train a protege, coach existing boxers, write a column on the paper. If he wants to help the Filipino people, I don't think being a Senator will help him achieve this. Open a foundation, donate infrastructures. There are a lot of things he can do if help is the reason for his senatorial bid. Better yet, maybe he can help with his Church. Manny Pacquiao has the right amount of charisma that can be fully utilized inside their Church. Helping the poor and influencing a lot of people? Check.

Can I get an "amen"?

Realizations 2 days after the whole Manny Pacquiao hoopla

My emotions were as high as the LGBT community's the moment I read of Manny Pacquiao's statement on Facebook 2 days ago. Although I am not part of the LGBT community per se - I have some very confusing moments during my highschool and early college days - I am quite appalled at the very strong words the Pambansang Kamao mentioned at that interview. And after reading - and reacting to - tons of forums and threads about this issue, I came to several conclusions which can be quite promising/disappointing, depending on your stance on the issue.

1. There are still a lot of people who are scared of getting "the cooties".

I honestly thought the cooties fever would end at second grade, when kids start realizing that "Hey, I think that girl/boy's cute. I want to spend time with her." Seriously, people. You won't "catch" it if you spend a day with gays/lesbians. As Susan Bunch from Friends say, "Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don’t let you do it." Well, of course, you don't actually need to take a course to be one but it sure feels confusing the first time you realize it; much like the confusion you get when you step into the university for the very first time (I think).

2. A lot of Christians are judgemental as fuck.

I'm not even gonna lie; I've had my moments. I was born and raised to judge people the way they dress in public. I eyed that woman who wore a racy ensemble on the way to work. I laughed at the guy who wore Crocs with socks while he was running his errands. I even reprimanded a teen who had her cleavage on full display at the cafe near my then-office. I am judgemental, yes, but these self-proclaimed spokespersons of the Lord are much more judgemental than I am. I know it won't matter from God's perspective but I would just like to say that I just judge people based on their decisions on what to wear that morning. It ends there. If they wanted to have crazy monkey sex with their partners who are of the same gender at the end of the day with their socks on, be my guest. What happens inside their bedroom is none of my business, as it should be. Same is true with people who are not as open to same sex relationships/marriages as I am. They believe it's wrong and I respect that. I won't even begin to convince them to change their minds.

3. Hypocrites under the Anonymous guise are very much rampant on Facebook.

Anywhere online, really. I know they've been there before but when I was still part of the workforce, I never really put any attention to the comments section. I read an article on my timeline, close it, then open another one to read. 2 years ago, I've started the habit of reading the comments section and realized that it was, more often than not, a lot more entertaining than the actual article. So when this whole Manny Pacquiao thing blew out of proportion, I thought, "I'm so ready for this" but turns out, I wasn't. People quoting the Bible and pushing their beliefs down other people's throats started going at one another the moment I clicked on "View more comments". Come on, people. You know you started having sex at the tender age of 15. You know you've cheated on your husband at least twice this past week. You know you've masturbated your way to a good night's sleep last night. You've even gossiped about your friend's boobjob at your work's weekly inuman sesh. Stop copy-pasting "God's words" to "sinners'" comments. You know you are one.

4. Whatever he said, Manny Pacquiao still brought pride to us Filipinos.

I may have wanted to slap Manny's face when he uttered those words on-cam - you are a politician, man, not a pastor! - but I cannot take away the fact that at one point in my life, I could say that that "politician" made me proud to be a Filipino when he was still just an athlete. He's the best thing that happened to Philippine boxing since Gabriel "Flash" Elorde, no doubt.

5. There are at least 5 people on my Facebook friends list that kept on changing their "beliefs" in the 2 days this issue has been trending.

I should really unfriend them now. Mga walang paninindigan. Yes, I'm also critical of people's Facebook statuses.

We all have the need to feel we're right and that we're above someone else. I guess it's human nature. But at this age and after all that I've been through in life, can I just ask for one thing?

Let's all just agree to disagree on some things.

We were all raised differently, with different priorities and different values. We can never find one single thing that the entire human race will agree upon on. I can guarantee you that. Majority may agree, yes, but not EVERYONE will. Just let it go. That's one man's opinion. Why should I allow it to shake my core, right?

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

What is this madness?!

I don't know what happened but I am certainly hooked on On The Wings Of Love. Right now, it's the only thing I can talk about. Also, I was this close to replying to online threads that debate over Clark and Leah's divorce papers. This is baaaaaaad. I mean, I've watched teleseryes before but never have I ever lost my mind halfway through and actually speak my mind about it. Closest thing to this obsession was for Mara Clara back in 2011 but it was never this crazy. I think James Reid's abs might have something to do about it.

Speaking of James Reid's abs, I'll be seeing you guys tomorrow based on the preview. *whew* Thank you, Dreamscape.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

It physically hurts.

On the Wings of Love is down to its last 3 weeks and it seems like the show's directors decided to give their audience the biggest heartbreak in the show's finale, at the rate things are going.

A few days ago, they decided to give us, their loyal viewers a peek of what's in store in Clark and Leah's journey and for that, I'd want to thank the entire OTWOL team. Thank you for shattering the illusion I've had these past few months of how perfect Clark and Leah's marriage is despite the unconventional context the idea of them getting married was in the beginning. Thank you for destroying the flawlessness of Clark Medina, the ideal guy to bring home to mom. Thank you for giving Leah Olivar the opportunity to make her dreams come true.

Thank you.

But most of all, thank you for giving me the biggest heartbreak I've had since 2013.

Yes, I am heavily invested in Clark and Leah's love story. I can't say that I am a JaDine fan - merely watching all films/TV shows they've appeared in doesn't count as being a fan, in my standards - but I'm definitely an OTWOLista who cried with Clark when Leah left him at the San Francisco airport that fateful October night, rejoiced with Leah when she landed that job in ArtMart Manila despite doubting herself, and root for Tolayts as he continuously proves his love for Manang Tiffany (Yes, I'm a huge fan of Tolayts).

So imagine how heartbroken I was when Leah decided to leave the Philippines for a job opportunity in Dubai. All the episodes prior to last night's episode have been leading up to this decision but I was rooting for Leah to change her mind and decide to let Clark help her. They are husband and wife, after all. But true to the 'unpredictable' impression they first gave their viewers, the OTWOL team decided to let Leah Olivar's fearlessness dictate the couple's fate. She had a dream and a drive. She won't let anything - not even her husband - hinder her from fulfilling a lifelong dream to give her family a better life. I am all for women empowerment but I have to be honest: This decision knocked the air out of my lungs. I wouldn't have done it, especially with the knowledge that I will still be granted the promotion once Simon leaves. There is always a way to make things work without leaving the other one to freeze out in the cold but that's just me.

I haven't even had a chance to recover from that Monday night heartbreak, Antoinette Jadaone decided to drop another huge bomb reminiscent of the SanFo airport scene, this time in CIA (probably), with a miserable Clark Medina looking for his wife in the vast, albeit empty, airport the very next day. The look on James Reid's face brought me to tears, feeling like I was the one Leah left without a goodbye. Each and every scene from the February 9 episode is so heartbreaking, I'm actually thinking of boycotting the series until On the Wings of Love ends. Not that I can actually do that since I would love to see how all of this will unfold in the end. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to watch these two grow apart.

Despite all the hurt these two are giving me, though, I am still for Team #CLeah. I am still for Clark Medina and Leah Olivar - Medina. Naniniwala parin ako sa forever.

(You'd think that after all I've been through with men boys, I'd be more cynical/jaded/bitter but thank God, I'm not.)