“You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.”

- Daniel Franzese (Quote lifted from Kizia's blog)

Love.

Ulk.

No, not the motherly kind of love. The romantic kind of love. Ulk.

(For the record, this post is heavily influenced by the Aiai Delas Alas The Buzz interview I watched a few hours ago that I know I shouldn't have watched when I'm this close to having my period.)

A lot of my friends know how much of a hopeless romantic I WAS. I would do everything for my man, I even named my daughter after my boyfriend even though I originally wanted to name her Alexandra. I mean, I've wanted that name since I was in gradeschool and swore I would name my daughter that when the time comes.

Anyway, all of sudden, I'm this person who is so cautious of falling in love again, you might think I'm an entirely different person. Actually, the falling in love part isn't so hard and not all that bad. It's the staying in love part that made me really cautious. Staying in love takes so much effort and energy (and in some cases, money) especially when your partner won't even bother giving out half as much as you're giving.

Having gone through what I've gone through in the past 3 years brought me to the conclusion that I am the kind of girl who wants someone who I have a high compatibility rating with. It's not much about having the same movie and musical preferences as I do *ehem* (Friends, before you react, it's just because madaling i-adjust yung preferences at madaling intindihin yung ganung klaseng differences. #hindiakoguilty) but more of having the same set of values and probably the same personality as I do. Of course, there are all the other standard (what) qualities I want my future partner to have: understanding, sweet, loyal, trustworthy, etc. but everyone wants their special someone to have these qualities too, it doesn't matter if they're guys, girls or gays, so I figured it's not worth mentioning anymore. So, yeah, future boyfriend/husband, please take note.

The next time I fall in love - Yes, I still dream of falling in love... I still am that hopeless romantic girl after all. - I want it to be the last... and for real, this time. I don't want to go through all the hassle all over again only to find myself ranting about the guy over unlimited mojitos and nachos with chicken and cheese to my girlfriends.

Phoebe Buffay

I am re-watching FRIENDS right now while downloading and converting movies for Brianna's tablet and I suddenly remembered how they were supposed to cast Ellen Degeneres as Phoebe Buffay. Look, Lisa Kudrow did a great job with being Phoebe but I just can't help but wonder how Ellen would've fared.

Anyway, yeah. That's it.

#ipasoksidick

I am one of the many Filipinos disappointed that Dick Gordon is not part of the top 12 in the unofficial tally. I've honestly voted for him and I know he can spark change, if he can't change it altogether. I've aired my sentiments over Twitter, like I always do, when I participated in the top trending topic of the day, #ipasoksidick. I don't know where it started but I had a hunch that it's the topic of the boys in BNO 'cause when I decided to listen, they were talking about it. Correct me if I'm wrong, though.

Anyway, if I were in the mood to tweet, I would've had more than 5 entries but I really wasn't up for it so I just came up with one tweet:

I didn't think much of it, to be honest. I mean, it's a trending topic so (almost) everyone who understands will take part in it but I totally didn't expect for this to happen:

I know it might not mean much to a lot of you and it probably isn't something someone should be proud of but I rarely get published that I feel so giddy whenever someone brings it up. Sorry I'm not sorry.

17 solid years.

After I published that emo post with Jennifer Anniston, a friend from Sucat called me and asked if they could come over for a couple rounds of drinks and midnight snacks, claiming that if I can't go out to celebrate with them, they bring the celebration to me and I said yes right away. How could you say no to a very thoughtful gesture? I didn't realize, though, how many and HOW DRUNK they were until they were all in C5, asking for directions like mad men.

I didn't mind cooking gyoza at 1 o'clock in the morning. I didn't mind having everyone there, talking and laughing at the top of their lungs, with the family fast asleep. I didn't mind taking 5 straight shots right off the bat. I didn't mind drunkenly cleaning up after everyone has left (it rained when they arrived and can you just imagine how muddy our place has been). I didn't mind anything at all. 17 years of friendship with these people did that to me. I know they'd do the same for me, too.

My Election 2013 Experience

Please forgive me for taking a photo without cutting my nails first. Katams e.

When I woke up this morning, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to vote. I didn't want to go through the hassle plus I knew that whoever I voted for most probably won't win (Hello, Gibo Teodoro). As the day wore on, though, I keep on having this nagging feeling that I SHOULD be voting. Maybe it's the righteous person in me (yes, I have a righteous alter ego). I slept the feeling off, though. But when I woke up and realized that I still had less than an hour to vote, I dragged my brother to the precinct. It took me a total of 5 minutes to vote. By the time we got there, it was almost 6:30pm so there literally weren't any lines.

To those who want to judge me for my choices, here are the candidates that I voted for (in no particular order):

• Teddy Casino
• Riza Hontiveros
• Richard "#ipasoksidick" Gordon
• Chiz Escudero
• Ed Hagedorn
• Ramon Magsaysay Jr.

For the partylist, I voted for Ladlad like I did back in 2010.

Anyway, here are some of the observations I had in our precinct (119A, Mercedes Exec. Vill. Clubhouse) this time around:

1. Police assistance desk didn't have an actual desk. What.
2. The PPCRV booth, as usual, was placed right beside the entrance. Made me miss working for them during the elections.
3. The girl in-charge of the laptop for PPCRV was connio. Not that there's something wrong with being connio (hypocrite) but people in our village aren't exactly like those who live in Corinthian or Valle Verde. I bet most of the voters here had a hard time understanding her speak.
4. The PPCRV team leader was really helpful. If he could carry me through the throng of pasaway candidate pollwatchers, he would.
5. As per the Halalan 2013 app, my Voter's ID has already been printed. I am quite disappointed that I didn't get to claim it in the precinct. It would've been really convenient for the voters to claim it there instead of going to the Comelec branch - in my case, in Cainta City Hall which is one hour away from my place.
6. Nobody was wearing any ID. If some kind of commotion happened in the precinct, you wouldn't know who you're going to approach. Well, except the PPCRV volunteers who were wearing their uniforms.
7. Pollwatchers of candidates were blocking the way. I hope next time they have a designated place to stay in and that they actually stay there. Goodness. Breeding, people.
8. The PCOS machine was busted when I got there. There was this guy who didn't have an ID that kept on jamming bond papers in it like it was gonna solve the problem.
9. When I went over to the tables, there were people watching me from the outside like they wanted to jump my bones or something. I chose a seat very far away from the window (them) but not that close to those annoying pollwatchers working for the candidates.
10. Limited markers were available and most of them didn't have ink.
11. Instead of feeding the ballot to the PCOS machine, I fed it to an envelop.
12. I didn't trust the guy who put indelible ink on my nail but he did a good job, not like the one who put it the last time.

It was a rather pleasant experience. I think the excitement from the first time just wore off, giving me a chance to observe everything around me.

This time around, I can say that I've matured as a voter. In 2010, I just wanted to take the photo with an inked finger and let people know "I'm mature, bitches!". Now, it really is all about wanting change; wanting a brighter future for Brianna. (This is for real, you guys. Perspectives change when you have a kid.)

Mother's Day Realization

My perception of my mother hasn't changed from highschool. Up to now, I'd still get jealous of those people who became bestfriends with their moms after the teenage years. Hope this happens to me soon. If not, I hope I become my daughter's bestfriend when the time comes. I don't want her to feel like she can't tell me anything 'cause I'll judge her for it.

Sick and tired.

I know I'm trying too hard on making other people think that I'm handling the situation with the babydaddy really well but there are times that I just want to scream and cry and tell people I am not okay. All this positive thinking thing is taking too much energy but I know that it's gonna be worth it in the end.

I'm just sick and tired of not being cared for, you know? 'Cause - di naman sa pagbubuhat ng bangko, ano? - I'm really caring.

The Chito Miranda x Rico Blanco Collaboration

I'm not really a fan of alternative music or any music that includes guitar riffs or drum solos but the OPM scene has always been an exception. Okay, maybe the OPM scene back in the 90s and a very few songs released in the past decade. I just can't stand all the "Neseye ne eng lehet..." and "Boom karakaraka" that have been playing in almost every radio station I (don't) listen to and every music store I enter. I'm not hating on Daniel Padilla and Vice Ganda or anything. I mean, if you follow me on Twitter, you'd know how I get kilig over Daniel Padilla and the way he looks at Kathryn Bernardo whenever they're on TV and how I am a huge fan of GGV. It's just that they don't make Pinoy songs the way they used to...


Enter Chito Miranda and Rico Blanco. They've been exchanging tweets about hanging out in Rico's place, cooking up something, but disguising it as "trip-trip lang", nothing to get excited over but I know I am not the only one who thought "Yeah, right, wala lang" because they're friggin' Chito Miranda and Rico Blanco! What's so "wala lang" about them, right? I KNOW.
So anyway, here's the "trip-trip lang" track they were talking about:

It's called Panahon Na Naman ng Harana and it's some sort of a mash-up of Harana and Panahon Na Naman - obviously - but there's nothing "trip-trip lang" about it. I mean, like I said, they're friggin' Chito Miranda and Rico Blanco!

"Ain't nothin' you can say to me that can change my mind, I gotta let you go now. And nothin' will ever be the same, so just be on your way, go 'head and do your thing now..."

- All I Have, Jennifer Lopez feat. LL Cool J, 2003