Monday, April 2, 2012

I am allowed to have relapses, okay?

I know I've been doing surprisingly well lately. The PSI mantra has suddenly taken effect in my life without me forcing it in my thoughts. It came to a point where I don't even consciously stop myself from thinking a negative thought and I'd last for days without them. Everything suddenly felt so natural, like I am just breathing or something.

But there are times when you get too caught up in your breathing that you suddenly feel the need to purposefully do it because if you don't, you end up thinking that you are not breathing correctly. It's when you become conscious of how slow or fast you are breathing that you have a hard time doing so.

Well, right now, that's how I am feeling. Negative thoughts are suddenly rushing to my head that I need to actually force myself to think of happy thoughts.

This sucks but I am allowed to slide a few inches down for me to realize how high up I am and how I should keep going up.

I am getting off this hellhole tonight.

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