Monday, August 27, 2012

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

(I hope some PSI grads or someone who went to a 7 Habits seminar can help me fully grasp this concept.)

This concept is habit #5 of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It has been confusing me so much lately, as much as habit #3 which is Think Win-Win but habit #3 should be for an entirely different blog post.

Anyway, I want to know if "Seek first to understand, then to be understood" means that I shouldn't voice out what I need to say right after the person I talked to gave me a piece of his/her mind. I mean I am not one of those people who's been given the gift of understanding...of patience so during a confrontation, I blow up like a volcano. I've (recently) learned to stop and assess my reaction just so I can give the other party a much more responsible and appropriate response but there are some situations (and people...UGH!) that I am not fond of and when they come marching in, armed with their opinions and what not, I get all annoyed by the sound of their first word and before I know it, I'm rattling on like a machine gun.

FYI, I am one of those people who don't really doubt the intentions of other people to me so you can imagine how hard it is for me to have to deal with people who doubt me and my choices and the need for me to be "understanding" while they don't seem to make the effort to understand me. I mean, bakit ako napalilibutan ng mga taong mahilig magduda? I know, How could I have attracted those people into my life? And don't they understand that what they're doubting about is rooted deep inside of them, hindi sa mga ginagawa at nangyayari sa labas ng katawan nila?

Obvious bang affected ako?

Anyway, yeah. That's what I want to...understand, if you will: Do I not respond right away, given that I still haven't understood what they said? When will be the right time to speak my mind?


  1. I think it's okay to respond even if you don't understand something, as long as it's because you aim to understand further. You may ask nicely, or react furiously, but you're trying to understand something still. That's not wrong, right?

    Kaya lang it is a very fine line to toe. Say magalit ako sa nanay ko dahil tinapon ang stuffed toy ko na nakaka-allergy sa akin. "Bakit?" "Hinihika ka dun." Gets ko na, but nagreact pa rin ako.

    Okay, I'm muddled. Haha.

    1. The further questions, I actually do. Kasi normal naman yun. I want to know when I should be able to voice out my opinion. Pwede ko ba ibato opinion ko kahit di ko naintindiahn yung kanya? I'm so confused. (-_-)

    2. Narealize ko nga rin eh. Ang akin, you can't really tell, because it's hard to ascertain naman na you understand something fully already. You say it now, tapos bukas you learn something new that could change your understanding of things. Again, fine line...