Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Aleigna, the Efficient or Aleigna, the Know-It-All?

One thing I've learned throughout the years is that when you tell someone a problem, you are looking for one of these three things:
  • To simply get your problems off your chest, meaning you're just looking for someone who will (pretend to) listen to what you have to say and mutter the occasional "Uhuh!" on cue.
  • To hear what others have to say about your problem, meaning - admit it - you are looking for someone who is "on your side" and conclude that they're your "real friends".
  • To solve your problem.

Another thing I've learned is I've become a "solve your problem" type of friend through the years. Sure, I've been the pretend listener before, especially to those people I unfortunately got stuck with during lunchtime back in college. For the most part, I just nodded, sipped on my C2 Apple and texted "Dismissed ka na?" to other friends and flings while the other person blabbers on about how her manicure chipped within an hour she finished the last coating or how he wanted to punch some dude who was flirting with his girlfriend. (Now that I think about it, I wasn't much of a friend to a couple of people back in college. Hihi. My bad.)

God knows how long I've been a "real friend" to my friends. I would side with them during confrontations and fights because that's what friends do on spontaneous moments but when you start neglecting what is right and just blindly side with them all the time like I did before, then I'm telling you now: You're doing it wrong. It's the cruelest thing you could ever do to your friend. Sure, some people will like that, thinking that your "loyalty" is "unwavering" but you might end up having to decide if you'd actually murder or rape a person to prove your loyalty for your friend or not.

I'm proud to say that I've learned to become a problem-solver type of friend now. I know that nobody wants a know-it-all and I know that I usually come off as such but there's nothing wrong with knowing - and sticking with - what is right/just/kind. Don't get me wrong, I am capable of supporting friends with their endeavors and just listening to their problems. It's just that I want to help them to the fullest of my capabilities. They can either take my advice or not, I don't take it against them.

I can be any friend you want me to be but I don't guarantee that I'll be a good pretend listener or a good "real friend" but I'm sure as hell gonna rock being a problem-solver friend.

I don't have it all figured out nor am I implying that I am always right/just/kind. I just want to help. If you're gonna take that and what I said against me, that's your problem, not mine.

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