Stupid.

Someone once told me that if small, "dumb" things make me happy, the reason behind it is because I have a very shallow take on life. It made me feel small for a good number of years. I keep on forcing "big" things to happen to make me feel better about myself and not feel "dumb" about the things that are happening in my life.

Thing is, for all those years, I've never really felt happy. I've never thanked my friends sincerely for taking a night off from whatever it is they're busy with to spend time and money with me. I've never thanked my parents for still making me live with them and for looking out for me despite me being an adult with a baby girl to raise. I've never even thanked that guy who helped me board the Ayala shuttle when I was pregnant just so I won't feel that small, dumb things make me happy. That I am not dumb. That probably is the reason why I didn't notice all the good things that kept on happening to me...because I kept on looking for "huge" things to do so the return will be massive. I guess I shouldn't have taken that someone's words as truth but I can't help it; he's so much older than me. He's had more life experiences than me and supposedly, he's supposed to be wiser.

Now, at 25, I admit, I still don't have every answer to all of my questions but there's one thing I know for sure now: Being happy and grateful about the small stuff, that's what matters. The bigger things, your gratitude towards them will follow suit. So go ahead, feel happy and enjoy that cup of hot tea your dad made you or the fact that your old, 5-years-ago pair of jeans fit you again. You'll see how your life improves by just doing that small a gesture. You don't have to go all-out on your celebration of these small things. A simple prayer (or whisper to the universe) of "Thanks!" will go a long, long way. Trust me.