Someone take me to the beach.

I had the very strong urge to flee last night. Just pack my bags, leave a note, and go. I don't now where we'd go off to but one thing's for sure: We're going somewhere near the sea.

I've often fantasized about living near the ocean, just waking up to the sound of the water hitting the shore, smelling coffee with that salty breeze everyday. It's probably not a good idea now that I have a daughter who I want to finish in top schools and universities but it was a damn good idea when it was just me.

I don't know why I've always had this fantasy. I don't surf and I don't think I will ever surf. I am so damn afraid of the sea and what's beneath its surface. I hate the feeling of sand in my slippers and I definitely can live without the stiff hair after a stroll by the shore but still, whenever I feel the need to relax, I picture myself on a beach with a beer in my hand, watching kids dig in the sand. There's just something about it that relaxes me.

If I could live near the beach, I would. I bet it would be a much simpler life, without everyone hustlin' every damn minute, without the pressure of actually succeeding in a career path you wouldn't have chosen for yourself in a million years - aminin, kahit naman workaholic ka at sinasabi mo sa social media na dream job mo yan, di yan ang pinapangarap ng puso mo - and without the expectations of becoming someone who is "important" to the world.

It's been a long, long while.

A lot has been happening these past few weeks/months but I haven't bombarded this place with the nonsense in my head. I don't know why, actually. Probably because I'm having way too much fun with everything, despite the fact that some of the things that's happened actually tore me into pieces. I don't know, maybe I've finally learned to see the good in it even though it hurts.

So what has happened these past few weeks/months? Let's see…

• I've FINALLY been to Boracay.
• And I actually went snorkeling!
• And banana boat-ing!
• Although I didn't get a tan.
• But the Boracay sunset…ohmygod, it really is as pretty as everyone says it is.
• I went hotel-hopping. Mind you, these are not cheap ass hotels you find along Malate or something.
• I've managed to "dump" all the people that I don't want and need in my life, including the people related to them.
• I had a major falling out with my dad.
• But we're okay now. I think.
• I got a full-time online job.
• Brianna started and ended her summer class with flying colors.
• My friends now know how crazy I get when I'm in a relationship.
• I'm in a relationship.
• But not without a falling out that almost led to a "break-up" even if we weren't really together yet that time.
• Brianna celebrated her 3rd baptismal anniversary.
• My laptop died on me in the middle of a hectic week at work.
• Which led me to get a Mac. Which seems to be eating me up alive with every simple command that I can't figure out without the help of my brother or the Internet.
• I've started reading books again.
• I'm actually planning to buy a car.
• And to get life insurance. As in legit planning, with quotations and loans and stuff.
• I've achieved my weight goal and I'm actually maintaining it.
• I've enrolled Brianna for this coming school year.
• I hung out in a Starbucks branch all by myself after a really, really, REALLY long time. I think the last time I did that was in college. It was so refreshing, I want to do it regularly.
• I got a new pair of glasses that makes me look like a hipster, according to a friend.
• I failed to finish the #100HappyDays project which bummed me out…but not quite.
• A lot of items on my wish list/bucket list have been ticked off, thanks to my wonderful new boyfriend who just keeps on granting everything on my lists. I'm not going to elaborate on what the items are/were but he's been doing that since we first saw each other again last September and I can't stop thanking him for it. I mean, it takes a lot of effort (and money) to get some of the things done (of course, a lot of them are easy and free) but I never heard him complain.
• I might have found the perfect dress for my friend's wedding this November.
• Brianna told me that I'm "very awesome", which is probably the best entry here.
• Which I tweeted. I don't tweet as much, too, so there goes constantly documenting my life online.
• Also stopped reading my Twitter timeline/browsing through my Instagram feed 509375894072101948578461807492 times a day. It's oddly refreshing.

I guess that's everything. I don't know how to get everything out and I am not doing one post for each item so I made a list. It's not chronologically arranged or something. I just wanted to take note of how exhausting but at the same time, exhilarating the past few weeks/months have been for me. The short-term memory loss that general anesthesia has given me will probably wipe my memory clean by the end of the first half of the year, might as well document what I remember now.

I am quite thankful for how everything is turning out. Despite the many, many, many disappointments, I feel that everything is falling into place. How can I not be grateful, right?

Planning a diet/exercise plan...

There are a lot of beach trips lined up for me in the future that is why I'm doing this. Also because I saw my college bud's, Kizia's, blog post a few weeks ago (Yeah, mostly that because I only have one trip lined up and I don't even have a plane ticket yet). I don't want to call myself a gaya-gaya because I actually want to start going on a diet... I'd want to believe that I got inspired by her determination to lose weight and actually become healthy.

Being a true believer of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the Law of Attraction and the PSI teachings, I will make this diet plan a S.M.A.R.T. goal.

S(pecific)?: I've achieved my 110-pound weight goal and a barely-there beer belly/post pregnancy flabby tummy by June 25, 2013. 

M(easurable)?: Yes, it is. The weight limitation makes it measurable. 

A(ttainable)?: Yes, definitely! A lot of people have lost 10 pounds in 8 months. Some lost it at 2 months... 

R(isks/obstacles)?:

• Procrastination
• Lack of self-discipline
• Lack of motivation (Yes, being sexy again is not motivation enough, apparently.)
• Cravings (I am having a hard time giving up my potato chips and cigarette addiction.)
• Laziness

T(imebound)?: Yes. June 25, 2013.

Now that the S.M.A.R.T. goal is set, I need to know what exactly I will do to make this one possible.

1. Start running again. Three times a week might be enough because I am committing to a 7-day per week, one hour a day exercise program. Preferring to run in the morning but I plan on working out during the morning so we'll see.
2. Drink as much tea as possible. No, not the bubble tea that everyone's raving about (To be perfectly honest, I don't intend to start drinking it). I mean legit tea. Like the ones they serve at Chinese restaurants.
3. Eat smaller meals. Since I've been chowing down so much carbs lately, I need to start eating in smaller but frequent doses.
4. Download phone and computer applications to help me keep track of my progress. I think keeping track of my progress is one of the motivations I need to help me get through this.
5. Download exercise videos that I will use everyday. Currently leaning towards Zumba (just 'cause it's uso), hip-hop and aerobics.
6. Limit myself to one stick a day (I'm on two a day now) on my first week towards a healthier lifestyle and not get tempted to smoke when I go out/drink.
7. START EARLY AND HOPEFULLY MAKE IT THROUGH THE FIRST 20 DAYS.

As of now, that's it. I just need to know one thing: Do I need to wear a pair of rubber shoes when I exercise at home? It would feel silly but I will if I need to.

Weekend Schmeekend.

I wanted to blog about this weekend just because it seems like a lot has happened and the weekend's still not over (it's just 9:15am, Sunday).

Friday, April 16

• Went to work at 9am and did the usual stuff.
• Made the timetable for Jayvee's project. Timetable gave me a headache.
• Went to Galle, lunchtime. Ate at KFC. Met up with Carlo and Trish there, too.
• Got the stitches from teeth extraction removed. Jumped for joy when I learned I can smoke again.
  
• Watched Confessions of a Shopaholic at the dentist's clinic while waiting for Trish and Carlo get their teeth cleaned.
• Went back to Galle and met up with The Lion.
• Ate at this Korean restaurant across Metrowalk. Didn't know what the name of the place is. Food tastes good but it will make your breath smell really bad after a few hours.
• Went to The Lion's den. Was supposed to have coffee at a coffee shop near their place with business partners to discuss the projects that are lined up for this year. Stayed home and watched TV instead.
• Business partner called and said they will pick us up and we ended up in Quiapo. Lifted everything up to Him at Quiapo church then walked a bit to buy mangos and suman.
• Off to Pasig before midnight.

Saturday, April 17

• Late dinner at Ado's then they brought me home. Got home by 1am.
• Saw the Facebook page that I ranted about here while waiting for The Lion to get home.
• Slept for 2 hours tops then off to Batangas.
• Didn't get to sleep during the trip either because everyone else was except Tatay. Didn't want him to be the only one who's awake.
• Slept and ate the whole time in the beach. Didn't get to swim 'cause my bikini top didn't have those pads that were supposed to "hide" your nipples. Didn't want to swim, anyway, so...
• Slept again on our way home.
• Got home and talked to The Lion (who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning) for a bit then slept again. Felt really tired even if I did nothing but sleep and eat in Calatagan.

Sunday, April 18. Only plan I have for today is to go to The Lion's den for his folks' anniversary dinner. Still don't know what time.

I just wanted to take note of this weekend. It's hella tiring.