I hate how I let people control my life.

This is a pissed off version of me. You might want to take popcorn and soda with you first before you start reading this. It might take long.
I don't know why I get affected by other people's feelings when they don't even try to acknowledge (man lang) what I'm feeling.

I am living in a house where people are too selfish to let me make my own decisions. I am living with people who don't care about how I'm feeling when all I think about is theirs. It gets really frustrating, especially now that Brianna's almost due.

It gets even more frustrating when I think about how Brianna might end up growing up without her father beside her. I will be the one who's gonna have to explain to her what happened and why it happened and she might get mad at me for not fighting for her and for her dad. I know I am being waaaaay over my head with this but I personally think it's better to expect what's going to happen and have a solution for it than sit around, doing nothing.

What am I raging about, you ask? I sent an e-mail - I don't know how to bring the topic up in person - to both my parents yesterday telling them my decision for Brianna to use Bry's surname. Actually, it always has been a no-brainer for me. I want her (and me) to use Bry's surname because he IS her father and we don't have bad blood between us. We're actually still very much together (meaning boyfriend-girlfriend) and even if, God forbid, we don't end up together, I want his daughter to have his surname. It's his right, as well as hers. I am not being idealistic here, I'm just merely stating what I think is right.

So, anyway, the decision they THINK they SHOULD BE IMPOSING on us is that Brianna shouldn't take on her dad's surname. Why, you ask? Here are the lame-ass reasons my mom (haven't talked to my dad yet, I'm too pissed) gave me:

1. They don't see he's ready. (Which is total bull because they wouldn't know it JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM.)
2. They think I'm the only one who's making the relationship work and that I'm forcing things to happen. (Malamang, they'll say that. I'm the only one they see at home everyday. DUH.)
3. It's easy to apply for a change of name in NSO. (This is the lowest of lows.)
4. If they see Bry's ready, they'll be willing to give me and Brianna to him. (SERIOUSLY?! Ano kami, laruan?! Premyo?!)
5. Our relationship will not last. (I don't know why the hell they are thinking this. And so what? That does not have anything to do with Brianna's surname.)

After her telling me all these, I asked her "O, tapos? Hindi ba desisyon ko yun, hindi inyo?" and then she goes back to how I'm forcing things to happen and that we will not last and blah blah blah, I got tired listening to her blabber on about what she THINKS is/will be happening. I actually walked out on her last night.

First of all, PWEDE BANG WAG NILA AKO IKUMPARA SA MGA KAPATID NILA?!
They keep on comparing me to their dysfunctional siblings, it's driving me mad. I am confident I grew up well with all the Catholic education I need so they need not tell me how their siblings were/are and how I might end up just like them. I also believe that I am smarter in all angles possible so they REALLY should stop it. If they trust me enough, they should not be doing this to me.

Next, DI AKO NAGPAALAM, PINAALAM KO LANG ANG GAGAWIN KO.
I didn't ask for their opinion. I just told them what I'm going to do so either they want it or not, they can't do anything about it. I am the one who's going to sign the birth certificate, anyway. If I sign it with De Leon as Brianna's surname, they can't do anything about it anymore. It's not like they can forge my signature. That would be really, really low and I don't believe my parents are those kinds of people.

Lastly, PWEDE BANG MAGING MASAYA SILA PARA SAKIN KASI NAGTE-TAKE CHARGE AKO SA BUHAY KO?
I know a whole lot of people who aren't taking responsibility of their actions. Aren't they proud I am not one of those people?

Now that I've gotten these off of my chest, I have to know how to tell them these without sounding arrogant or sounding like I know everything or sounding like I'm disrespecting them. It has to be tonight and it should not involve tears. I'm tired of crying and looking like a weakling.