I've been having this dilemma since Monday. You see, I told my parents - via e-mail because I didn't have the balls to bring it up personally - that I've decided that Brianna will take on Bry's last name instead of my last name. I figured it wasn't that much of a deal because personally, it was a no-brainer for me. Bry is Brianna's dad, she should carry his last name instead of mine. Whatever happens to me and Bry, she still is his kid. It's that simple.
Apparently, it isn't.
A few minutes after I sent the e-mail, my dad replied with a big, fat "No.". I replied, "Why? She is our kid." because she is. That's when it all started. To make the long-ass story short, I got bombarded with sumbats, past situations I thought were already left in the past, complaints and unfair blames that shouldn't be put on me because it wasn't my responsibility. Naturally, I got pissed and ended up crying for two whole days, putting my baby through an enormous amount of stress (another post is intended for this, and not in this blog).
After that, I talked to Bry, of course. He got pretty upset, naturally but after probably two-three days of thinking (if you call it that) about it, we finally decided to give it up for reasons we shouldn't be giving: Para walang gulo, para matapos na, para wala nang masabi pa.
After our conversation last night, I realized two things:
- I want an entirely different thing for my little family from what my parents want and
- I still don't know why I don't stand up to them.
Why don't I stand up to them? I've countless reasons for that: I don't want to be blamed for what's happening to my siblings (which is unfair but it happens anyway), I don't want to cause them any more heart breaks, I don't want to be called ungrateful... (I probably would bore anyone who's reading this if I continue)
In the process, I am jeopardizing my own little family when I don't stand up to my parents. That's when it gets complicated. I know the choice is obvious.
The question now is am I willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for my family? For my baby girl?
according to my mom, since u and bry aren't married yet, surname mo talaga ang gagamitin ni brianna. :(
ReplyDeleteI don't believe it. I have friends who have their babies named after their partners. Sorry, super resistant ko talaga pagdating dun.
ReplyDeleteyep, i think pwede naman na after Bryan's surname (yes, feeling kilala ko bf mo. hehe.).. i totally understand sacrificing stuff para "wala ng gulo and everybody happy" effect..but the thing is, hindi naman talaga "everybody" yung happy eh. YOU are not happy. i posted na before na a prof told me na i'll never be really happy unless i put myself first (mashado ko daw inuuna family ko, blah blah) (apparently, magaling na judge of character yung prof, haha). so i'll probably say the same to you.
ReplyDeleteoh, and yes, you have to stand up, now that you have your own family. explain really nicely to your parents though, i'm guessing they're pretty hurt with the stuff going on. yun lang, things would be hard from now on, if ever hayaan ka ng parents mo and they let you be really independent..
shempre ang haba na neto XD
EXACTLY! Hindi nga everybody happy. Parang in our case, to shut everyone up nalang yung gagawin, if ever. And tama yung prof mo. Matagal ko nang alam yan, actually. I just keep on putting the idea aside kasi feeling ko it's my responsibility as a daughter.
ReplyDeleteI know I have to explain really hard how everything's going to work out and how I am not disrespecting them in anyway. Feeling ko nga dapat matuwa sila kasi di ako yung mga tipo na magsstay sa parents nila na manghuhuthot ng kuryente, tubig at tuition ng APO nila.
Whew. Still too much to get off my chest. Hahaha! :))
By the way, Maric, thanks! Sorry, sa galit ko, nauna lahat ng emosyon. Hahaha! :))
ReplyDeleteMadami din ako kilala na their babies take on the guy's surname. I think ang ibig sabihin lang ni Mama eh may right mag demand yung parents mo na surname mo ang gamitin kase you're not married yet. She said if you get married na, wala na sila right. You can even bring them to court if they insist on giving Brianna your surname.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you wag ka na sumunod sa gusto ng magulang mo. Aba mahal din magpa-change name sa birth certificate and hassle mag-process ng papers noh. Hehehehe.
That's the thing nga e. Nauna yung baby sa kasal kaya magulo. :( Hay hay.
ReplyDeleteAlam mo, naisip ko din yang pagiging hassle ng change ng name. At magastos dahil kung gusto ko maprocess agad, kailangan ko maglagay. HAHAHA! :))