Thursday, July 12, 2012

Make it work!

The story between me and my babydaddy is indeed a very colorful one but it isn't even halfway through because we are not yet married nor are we living in the same house. As much as I want to live in with him, he has strong Catholic values that won't mesh well with my rather liberal thinking. It doesn't mean, though, that I don't want to marry him because I do. There are just a lot of complications. This doesn't make any difference, though. We love each other and we are making the relationship work.

One of the weirdest things about our set-up is even though we both live in Metro Manila, it doesn't feel like it. He lives in Quezon City while I live in Pasig. Not much of a distance, you say? Well, not really. First and foremost, he lives in the farthest point of QC while I live in the Pasig-Cainta borderline.We both don't know how to drive, either. I think that it is a given that either of us don't have cars as well. We could commute to be with each other, yes, but our income can't quite cover it. He's a freelancer and I am a work-at-home mom and all of our money goes to our one-year-old bundle of joy and each other's needs. We do see each other once a week, though.

For me, the reason why this setup of ours is working is because of three things: love, trust and faith. Let me break it down for you:
  1. Love - Love, I think, is a given. If you are in a relationship with someone it means that love is part of the equation. It doesn't matter what type of love it is or what the love is for. Love is there. In our part, the love that we have for each other and the love we have for Brianna are what keep us together. Here's the key, if I may say so: The love we have for each other is not the lovey dovey type of love that you usually see on TV. We barely see each other and we rarely text or talk to one another but I believe that these are the things that set us apart from other couples. How? When those lovey dovey couples get married, they will have a hard time adjusting to the fact that they cannot do it on a daily basis and they will end up feeling empty. With us, we will never feel empty. Why? Because we've established "mature" love in the beginning, so to speak.
  2. Trust - No relationship will ever work without trust. Ever. A father-daughter relationship will not be fruitful without trust. An employer-employee relationship will fail without trust. It is the foundation of any relationship. My babydaddy rarely knows where I am or who I am with but he trusts me enough to let me do my thing. Same is true with me. Of course, we are not perfect. The occasional "Baka kung sino nanaman ang kasama mo jan at kung anong ginagawa niyo jan ah" comes up, yes, but we make it a point to resolve it right away. People say that it's hard to trust people nowadays. True. But if you love that person enough, giving it to him will not be hard work at all. It will come naturally.
  3. Faith - Faith is the trickiest among the three. Faith, in Filipino, is pananalig. It is the hardest to give and  it is the hardest to maintain. Faith to my partner and to our relationship has been the two things that I am holding on to. I believe in us, I have faith in us and same is true with him and that is the reason why this relationship is working. We don't listen to the negative thinkers and to those who have lost all hope in humanity and focus on our relationship. That's the way it should be, anyway.
Sacrificing a whole lot of things, like my pride and the fact that I am a clingy girlfriend, made everything really smooth-flowing for the both of us. I guess acceptance was there in the first place but in order to stop hurting each other and ourselves, we stopped our annoying habits and our selfish personalities to give way to a stronger relationship and a deeper love between us.

I know a lot of people don't believe in our relationship. Ironically, these are married people who don't seem to believe in the power of love; which confuses me but that's an entirely different blog entry.

I may come off as idealistic and childish to some but I would love to believe that I am being positive and child-like in my approach to life and to our situation. There's nothing wrong with it, if you ask me. If anything, we need a more people with the same approach to life in this world and then we might just be able to make the world a better place to live in.

If you don't believe me, you can just watch these couples as they battle the miles between them and succeed.

Tide with Downy Bangong Padala video entitled “Pag-ibig na Pangmatagalan"

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1 comment:

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