Saturday, April 18, 2015

For the first time ever...

For the first time ever, I said what I wanted to say, right when I wanted to say it. It doesn't matter what you think of me now. What matters is what I think of myself.

For the first time ever, I didn't allow you to play the blame game. There's not one incident when I didn't blame myself for something that has gotten fucked up. I grew up thinking everything was my fault because that's how you made me feel but now, I KNOW I am not at fault. If we were to murder someone together, I would be the trigger but you would be the one pulling it. That decision was entirely yours; don't blame me for "pushing you to do it". Don't you have any sort of control at all?

For the first time ever, I have asked you to listen to what you're saying before you complain. You have a knack of bossing people around and then get all hurt when people tell you off. Listen to HOW you say things. Intention is NOTHING if your mechanism is faulty.

For the first time ever, I didn't stop saying something out of sheer guilt. You accuse me of raising my "sheltered" daughter without the nuances of bad vibes and negative jujus. Now, you'll see (and hear) a more unstoppable Ale. Let me worry about having to explain to her why I act all tough and mad all the freakin' time.

For the first time ever, I will be selfish. No guilts. No ifs. No buts.

Have a great day.

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