I am blessed.

Here's one proof of how awesome my friends are.

Special shoutout to all of my friends who I have a similar conversation with either on Viber or in person that I haven't screencapped (?!) 'cause 1) Viber conversations tend to go on and on and on and get all jumbled up because it's free and 2) well, I can't screencap face-to-face conversations. Haha!

Anyway, thank you, Lord and Universe, for blessing me with awesome sets of friends who got my back and appreciate me for the rowdy, foul-mouthed tomboy that I am.

Stupid.

Someone once told me that if small, "dumb" things make me happy, the reason behind it is because I have a very shallow take on life. It made me feel small for a good number of years. I keep on forcing "big" things to happen to make me feel better about myself and not feel "dumb" about the things that are happening in my life.

Thing is, for all those years, I've never really felt happy. I've never thanked my friends sincerely for taking a night off from whatever it is they're busy with to spend time and money with me. I've never thanked my parents for still making me live with them and for looking out for me despite me being an adult with a baby girl to raise. I've never even thanked that guy who helped me board the Ayala shuttle when I was pregnant just so I won't feel that small, dumb things make me happy. That I am not dumb. That probably is the reason why I didn't notice all the good things that kept on happening to me...because I kept on looking for "huge" things to do so the return will be massive. I guess I shouldn't have taken that someone's words as truth but I can't help it; he's so much older than me. He's had more life experiences than me and supposedly, he's supposed to be wiser.

Now, at 25, I admit, I still don't have every answer to all of my questions but there's one thing I know for sure now: Being happy and grateful about the small stuff, that's what matters. The bigger things, your gratitude towards them will follow suit. So go ahead, feel happy and enjoy that cup of hot tea your dad made you or the fact that your old, 5-years-ago pair of jeans fit you again. You'll see how your life improves by just doing that small a gesture. You don't have to go all-out on your celebration of these small things. A simple prayer (or whisper to the universe) of "Thanks!" will go a long, long way. Trust me.

Sepanx.

(I know I hate that term but it accurately captures how I feel right now. What're you gonna do about it?)

I've been with my South friends again last weekend for the 3rd weekend in a row and all I can think about is how it'd be so much easier for everyone if I lived there. It's just such a hassle for everyone!

• One of my friends always picks me up somewhere: Ayala, Bicutan exit, Santana Grove, wherever!
• One of my friends has always been the designated driver to take me home safely, no matter what time it is, whether or not he has alcohol in his body and whether or not he's had any sleep prior to taking me home at 5 in the freakin' morning, after having spent the entire 24 hours running errands and drinking.
• Two of my friends accompany the designated driver, making sure he won't fall asleep while driving (they pass by C5 which is so dangerous at night, doesn't matter if the driver is drunk or not).

I always tell them that it's easier to just let me commute my way home than have them all go through the hassle of taking me home within 24 hours but they tell me they want me to be safe. It's the sweetest thing anyone could ever tell me but at the same time, I can't help but feel guilty. It's just so much to go through for a friend.

I feel really good whenever I'm with them, though. They spoil me rotten. Feels nice to be treated that way for a change.

AND THAT IS HOW WE DO IT. #AN1MO

Good.

If you told me last month that there are actual nice guys who wouldn't take advantage of a poor girl with huge self-esteem issues, I wouldn't have believed you.

Enter actual Mr. Nice Guy-who-I've-known-for-most-of-my-life-but-just-got-to-hung-out-with-these-past-few-months.

Mind. Effin. Blown.

Seriously.

Judgement Day.

I've thought about it before...

...and holy crap, I'm thinking about it again.

I am not going to elaborate on it anymore because I don't want to lose face again but here's what I'm going to say: Watching Cougar Town - yeah, I've finished Community - when times are hard is not a very good idea; especially if you're a single mom who's just gotten back in the field after "starving yourself" for what seemed like forever. Doesn't matter if you've already hooked up or not, it's just not wise to watch it altogether. It effs your brain up without you noticing it.

Watching it just put me in this dark place where I will never know what the answer will be unless I actually ask which doesn't sit well with me because 1) I'm (finally!) currently in this stage where I am comfortable not communicating and 2) even if I have the chance to ask, I am totally not the kind of person to ask about it. Not that I'm a prude but I am quite confident about it but this TV series messed with my freakin' head and I'm not even halfway through season 1 (I'm on episode 3)!

I love Courteney Cox because, hello, she's Monica Bing and to be honest, the series' story is somewhat relevant but if you seriously, seriously love your relatively young, single mom-self, do not watch Cougar Town...well, not if you have the insecurities of a high school girl like me but if you're really confident with your "skills set", then, yeah, go ahead and watch it. See if I care. (I will.)

PS. This wouldn't have happened if I went on to watch Suits instead.

Last weekend's Murtaugh List additions

• Drink without eating dinner
• 2 consecutive tequila shots after finishing a liter of Jack Daniels
• 2 whole packs of cigarette in a day
• Sleeping the whole damn day after a drinking session
• Puking bile without wincing
• Watch the UAAP Finals while nursing a massive hangover
• Sleeping on the gutter while my friends take photos
• Have someone carry me from the gutter to the bed/sofa (but I'm really thankful he did because I can't even bring myself to sit up when he asked me to)
• Remember what the hell happened after those kinds of drunken nights

The only reason...

My good friend, Lau, suggested I watch Community and now I am so addicted to it. I've never seen Joel McHale this hot! The story's great and everyone's funny but, yeah, Hottie McHotterson over there...hummuhnah hummuhnah hummuhnah.
(I can't stop staring into his eyes... #crazyladyalert)
(I can't understand most of their pop culture references - especially those that Abed say - so I am making it my goal to watch more movies and TV series in the remainder of this year. Itaga na yan sa bato.)

#69. I am a very, very, very touchy-feely person. When I'm drunk, I hug people. People get annoyed by that, I understand but, yeah, I don't really care.