One of the best weekends of my life.

I enjoy going out with friends from time to time but I prefer staying at home. I don't know if I'm just extremely lazy or I'm what you call a homebody. Anyway, the ideal setting is someplace else rather than here at Pasig and that is exactly what I got just this weekend.

Lounging around the whole day and watching Masterchef US while cuddling with the two most important people in my life right now...that's all I did the past 3 days but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so refreshing to wake up without having to dread what the day will bring and much, much more refreshing to sleep without carrying all the burden, complaints, and all the blame of the whole day on my shoulders. Plus zero airplanes flying over the roof every 15 damn minutes can take all the anxiety away from you.

The past weekend has brought me nothing but love, acceptance, calm, and relaxation. I want that every damn day for the rest of my life.

PS. This Alex and Zoe sticker set from Viber perfectly captures how our weekend went...plus, of course, a toddler who kicks everyone else on the bed while she sleeps:

I can't move on. Best. Weekend. Ever.

(Yes, I just posted my first ever rant post about my dear, dear boyfriend, Mr. Breath of Fresh Air. I still love you heaps, though, and that doesn't change the fact that I am so thankful to God and the Universe for you and your impeccable timing. Tampo lang ako.)

(Hayaan na, minsan lang ako maglambing...online.)

I don't care if you call me "mababaw"; I have my reasons.

(I don't even know how to write this. That's how shitty I'm feeling right now.)

I guess there are people who don't get attached to material things as much as I do. Don't get me wrong; I'm not materialistic. I just attach emotions and sentiments and all those touchy-feely stuff to things. That's the reason why I have kept a whole lot of junk from the past. Mind you, most of these things weren't given to me. These are things I bought/picked up from the garbage (gross, I know)/made that remind me of certain emotions/situations. I'm sentimental like that.

(Teka, teka, teka: Is that what materialistic means? Keeping trash you don't actually need? I'm kind of confused and quite frankly, I forgot what it actually means. Tanga ba? Bite me.)

It just bums me out that the one person who I thought held on to sentiments the way I did, apparently, doesn't see it that way. I know I shouldn't expect things from others but I just can't help it especially if he's the kind of guy who seems like he just walked right out of a rom-com movie. You know, surprise-favorite-breakfast-meals, movie-marathon-while-cuddling-on-a-couch, holding-hands-while-driving kind of guy. At some point, you're going to have to expect things. Like holding on to things that's remotely close to the two of us.

Anyway, whatever. It's nothing major. It's just a stupid watch. Right now, I'm ready to bawl my eyes out if he disposes it off (meaning he'll give it to his sister) but I'm pretty sure tomorrow I'll be over it. It isn't mine anyway. I just have the same watch which I honestly thought we bought as kind of a couples watch of sorts but whatever. I don't care anymore.

PS. It sucks that after all that I've been through, I still expect things from people.

PPS. Yes, all of this for a stupid watch.

PPPS. I don't think you'll ever understand why I'm making a big deal out of this but whatever.

Day 15. #100HappyDaysV2.0

(There's something about me and guys who live quite far from my place and have a hard time meeting up with me…)

Online window shopping with the boyfriend. Yes, technology is an essential part of our relationship…for now.

Day 10. #100HappyDaysV2.0

Much-needed Sundate with these two. I haven't thought of a single problem the entire time we were out.

Also thankful for this guy's mom for making me and Brianna feel like we actually are a part of her family. We felt comfortable around her; no judgements, no expectations, just love. Yes, she actually made us feel loved…accepted. Such a great woman, that woman. So thankful she raised her son the way she did. Kami ng anak ko ang tunay na nakikinabang.

Day 7. #100HappyDaysV2.0

These two. Despite all the stress and the frustrations I am currently facing in my life, these two remind me of how truly blessed I am and why I actually need to move forward. They also remind me that I am a good person and that I am worth something, despite what other people say... Perfect reminders that I am doing something right.

Day 5. #100HappyDaysV2.0

We talk on the phone while we're Skype-ing. Yes, we're that kind of couple.

Day 4. #100HappyDaysV2.0

Was chatting with this girl right here a few minutes ago. We met back in the 90s and only because she went to the same school I did...that and she's the sister of one of my "sworn enemies" (according to my barkada) who's now my boyfriend.

This family... I don't know what I did to deserve such kindness from each and everyone of them. They actually love us (Brianna and I). It's so overwhelming, really. I am so thankful for his very supportive and loving family.

MARAMING SALAMAT.

Ang buwan ng Hulyo ay naging mahirap. Mabigat.

Maraming masasakit na salita ang nabitawan.
Maraming desisyong hindi napanindigan.
Maraming maling pananaw ang nakapagpaalog ng pundasyong matagal nang nilalatag.
May mga nagbago at may mga hindi nagbago.
Nabawasan ang tiwala, paniniwala, at respeto.
Nadagdagan ang pagdududa, pagaalinlangan, at sakit.
Nananatili ang pagkakaiba sa mga opinyon at mga kuro-kuro at ang paninindigan sa mga ito.

Pero nalampasan namin ang lahat ng ito sa pagkapit sa nasa itaas at sa pagmamahal sa isa't isa.

Sa pagsasara ng buwan ng Hulyo, gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa buwang nakalipas at sa mga bagyong dulot nito. Lalong nadagdagan ang pagpapahalaga ko sa aking sarili at sa aking pinakamamahal.

Nawa'y maging matiwasay ang mga susunod na mag buwan at mga taon para sa aming dalawa. Kung hindi man, sana ay mas mapatatag pa kami ng mga unos na aming pagdadaanan.

Brain Dump.

I am a hopeless romantic and last night, I realized that there's a reason behind it: I've always wanted to become a wife. Even when I was younger, I went on dates with the thought that I might be spending my life with the person I am meeting for the very first time. It's always been that way.

I started dating in 2002, when a friend tagged me along a date with her boyfriend so the boyfriend's buddy would have someone to talk to. We ended up going on 3 dates but, even if he's so obnoxious (that time), that I wanted to smack his head to his coffee, I still fantasized about how we'd spend lazy Sunday afternoons together.

The only exception for this I-think-I-wanna-marry-you mentality was probably when I dated my block mate but even then, we ended up dating for a full year.

Going out of topic but bottom-line is that I've always wanted to be a wife. I think believe I function better emotionally? psychologically? mentally? when I'm part of a "we" instead of just being on my own…which I've learned to accept. I'm not cut out to be Miss Independent. I get it.

*******

Reason for that's most probably because I love doing the support thing most…which might be rebutted by at least 2 people who have called me contradicting.

*******

I apparently have lost the ability to express my love, care, and concern. For the record, I blame the babydaddy. For now, I have to push myself to be that annoying girlfriend I once was again.

*******

I am possessive beyond belief and I get crazy-jealous. As in CUHRAYZEE-jealous. I forgot how severe these…diseases are and they're taking too much work on my boyfriend's end. Yes, this early.

*******

Despite all this, though, I am quite lucky to have a guy who's patience, understanding, and love know no boundaries. I know he's got limits (contradicting nanaman. That's the reason why I was dubbed "walking contradiction" by a college friend) and I'm not stupid enough to push them and that is why I will try to become a better partner for him.

*******

Blah blah blah, those words don't mean anything, I know, but I'm having a hard time showing how I'm feeling. Thanks to 7 years of practice with College Guy.

*******

(Hahahahahahaha! Sinisi lahat sa lalaki.)

*******

Relationship also suffering from missing each other so much. What is clingy?

******

I want to move out. Seriously. Ironically, the want peaked at the height of the storm yesterday. I want to know how I'll react to something like that whilst caring for a hyperactive kid. (Whilst talaga?)

*******

For some reason, my mind goes back to that one day in September last year. I wonder why.

*******

I definitely need to stop smoking. I have every reason to but I don't believe I have the discipline to actually do it but I will do it…after this last cigarette pack I have with me now.

*******

I'm thinking of getting an actual office job but all the jobs I want requires me to relocate to the South. Great for me but I guess I have to wait for Brianna to finish this academic year before I move although I really, really, really want it to happen now.

*******

I should update my iPod playlist now but it's too tedious a task, I'm getting lazy just by thinking about it.

*******

First of all, there's no sea anywhere near Cainta. Second, I don't want to live there. Yun lang naman apila ko dito. Hahahahaha!

You see, I'm running out of things to do online so I've been taking all kinds of tests posted on my Facebook timeline…even those with jeje graphics.

*******

I want to do and be a lot of things lately and my save-up-for-the-future deadline is coming in full speed which explains the anxiety I've been having these past few days.

Online shopping.

So last night, the boyfriend and I were online shopping for cars and homes for sale. He was the one who found the most pogi car I've seen since 2001, when I fell in love with that red hatchback1994 Honda Civic along St. Paul Rd on our way to school one lazy morning.

Anyway, he saw this house and I can't move on from how much I love it. He's pretty proud of himself for finding it…

The clincher? It's in BF Parañaque! I've been going on and on and on and on about wanting to live in the South, specifically in this community, and we've found a house there that fits both our tastes and needs.

This will now go to my vision board and hopefully we get to purchase this soon!

I might've just found "The One".

Good god, I can't stop staring at it and get all high-school-girl kilig when I minimize all my windows.

I don't even like red cars and I've been lusting over passion orange SIRs for the longest time but this formula red SIR…dear god…so pogi!

And the best part? The "Pilipinas" plate. That simple detail made my heart leap 'cause I've always wanted a car that has an old school plate.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! THIS CAR IS SO POGI! NAKAKAKILIG BWISIT!

Chris Jones, whoever you are, you are doing it damn right, son!

Transformers 4: Age of Extinction 4DX Screening with KitKat #breakommendation

I was just saying how I needed a break from it all and Nuffnang and KitKat's invitation for the 4DX screening of the Transformers 4: Age of Extinction couldn't have come at a better time. It was held at the new Bonifacio High Street Cinemas, located at the new Bonifacio High Street building which isn't completely done yet.

(Commercial: To all Friends fans out there, a Pottery Barn store will open in this new wing.)

Photo grabbed from http://hookedonhouses.net/2014/05/19/25-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-sets-on-friends/.

(That famous apothecary table might be available in the store along with the bird cage and that room divider in Phoebe and Rachel's apartment. Yay, right?)

Anyway, the movie house looks exactly like how other Ayala cinemas look like but the ticket booth kinda took my breath away for a second.

I think that amazed look on my face (that probably all the Nuffies saw) is proof that I haven't really gone out for a long while.

Upon registration, the Nuffies gave us food stubs for a couple of sandwiches from Quiznos for dinner.

Can I just say I hate how my hips look here.

After dinner, we went back to the cinemas to register with KitKat this time.

The girls manning the booth were really friendly and patient with everyone, I was thinking I can't do what they do…plus, they were a lot younger than me so I probably won't get hired in the first place. They gave away loot bags that have different kinds of KitKats and other freebies inside.

(Another commercial: While we were waiting for the movie to start, we were watching people fill their cones with ice cream at Family Mart. I've got one thing to say about that: Students are NOTORIOUS when it comes to all-you-cans.)

After all the waiting - we were scheduled to watch the last full show - we all went inside the 4DX cinema. It looks like your typical cinema except I thought that the seats were more comfortable.

When the movie started, the seats started moving ever so slightly that it makes you think if it really is moving. To be quite honest, the whole "ride" made me really dizzy that by the time Optimus Prime and the rest of the gang were "rolling out", I was already sitting on the aisle. I also had to take the shades off, too, because I was pretty sure that's what triggered my dizziness. The boyfriend sat with me on the aisle until the movie ended which I found really sweet (Oo, mababaw lang ako). There were also other environmental effects like cold wind and this scent that smells really bad whenever a car/robot appears on screen. There was also this thing that poked us on the leg that made me jump.

I can't believe I actually sat through an entire boy-movie without falling asleep considering the fact that I wasn't able to sleep in the afternoon and I had a few beers in me. Actually, I've been watching a whole lot of boy-movies lately so I'm proud of myself. I enjoyed the movie despite the dizziness. I just thought maybe it kinda lacked some kind of story… I'm saying that probably because I haven't seen the movies before that one so my opinion doesn't count.

Anyway, that was a fun experience. Not only because there's free chocolates but because it's my first time to actually attend a Nuffnang screening.

Incidentally, it's my first actual movie date with the boyfriend because we usually do movie marathons at home instead of going out because we think it's much sweeter that way.

Thanks to KitKat and Nuffnang for the opportunity to actually see Transformers 4: Age of Extinction in the new 4DX theater without spending a single peso…and for the free chocolates, too, of course!

Keep Calm and Watch Movies

I have a confession to make: I am not fond of watching movies. At all. Which is quite ironic, considering I am a Communication Arts graduate. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't watch movies and I don't enjoy myself when I do. In fact, I've formed a theory for how I experience movies now: Since I don't watch a lot of it, the movies that I do watch blow my mind every. Single. Time. It doesn't matter if it's an actual mind-blowing indie movie or a super cheesy Star Cinema rom-com; it will still have me staring at the rolling credits by the end of the movie. (Which might be the biggest "movie violation" I've been doing, not paying attention to the closing credits)

In all fairness, I've watched a whole lot of movies for someone who isn't really fond of doing it. And like some mid-20, lovesick, fictional book character, there was one movie that started this on-again, off-again love affair with movies:

The first movie I remember seeing was the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie. I was a huge fan of the TV show version back then and who wasn't? It was probably the biggest foreign TV show that time; probably even bigger than how big Koreanovelas are now. Anyway, I remember forcing my dad to bring me to SM Southmall - which opened a month before Power Rangers was shown, if I'm not mistaken - to watch the movie because I totally didn't want to feel left out. It was a PG-7 movie and I've yet to turn 7 that time and I remember clearly how freaked out I was when we got in line for the tickets. I thought they'd figure out I was just 6 and reprimand me for even asking to watch the movie. I haven't thought that I had an adult accompanying me; I just thought they were going to kick me out of the theater. I don't remember how the movie goes now but I know I enjoyed myself so much because when my friends and I talk about it now, we agree that it was the highlight of our first grader lives.

I've watched a bunch of movies after Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie has opened that gate for me, mostly Star Cinema-produced ones (I'm a jologs at heart. Don't judge.) Although I can probably name you all the movies I've seen 'cause they're not that much. Now, though, I want to start watching movies again, thanks to the movie buff that is my boyfriend (Yes, I'm exactly the type of girlfriend who adapts to whatever it is my boyfriend is into. Again, don't judge.) The GMovies app couldn't have come in a better time. I immediately downloaded it:

The GMovie app is the first and only of its kind in the Philippines. It allows you to be updated with the current and upcoming movies that will hit the theaters, pick the best seats in the house and buy movie tickets. You don't have to drive all the way to the cinemas to do all that anymore. It takes the hassle off of watching movies. It will truly make your movie experience much more enjoyable.

But wait! There's more! (I know, I know… Lame.) You can download the GMovie app FOR FREE on your iOS or Android devices. Unleash the movie buff in you by downloading this amazing app now!

To fully enjoy your GMovies experience, follow their social pages:
- GMovies on Facebook
- @GMoviesApp on Twitter
- @GMovies on Instagram
- GMovies on Youtube

That's not the only thing Globe Telecom has in store for you! Globe, in partnership with Nuffnang Philippines, has an on-going blogger contest. One of the winning blogger's readers will get a chance to win 2 FREE movie dates per week for a whole month!

All you have to do is answer this one simple question:

“What movie made you fall in love with watching movies?”

Just post your answer on the comment box below with your e-mail address. That's it! Simple, right?

Hassle-free way of picking a seat in the house and purchasing your tickets and at the same time, getting a chance to win free movie dates for a month? You'll definitely "keep calm" when watching movies with the GMovies app.

It's been a long, long while.

A lot has been happening these past few weeks/months but I haven't bombarded this place with the nonsense in my head. I don't know why, actually. Probably because I'm having way too much fun with everything, despite the fact that some of the things that's happened actually tore me into pieces. I don't know, maybe I've finally learned to see the good in it even though it hurts.

So what has happened these past few weeks/months? Let's see…

• I've FINALLY been to Boracay.
• And I actually went snorkeling!
• And banana boat-ing!
• Although I didn't get a tan.
• But the Boracay sunset…ohmygod, it really is as pretty as everyone says it is.
• I went hotel-hopping. Mind you, these are not cheap ass hotels you find along Malate or something.
• I've managed to "dump" all the people that I don't want and need in my life, including the people related to them.
• I had a major falling out with my dad.
• But we're okay now. I think.
• I got a full-time online job.
• Brianna started and ended her summer class with flying colors.
• My friends now know how crazy I get when I'm in a relationship.
• I'm in a relationship.
• But not without a falling out that almost led to a "break-up" even if we weren't really together yet that time.
• Brianna celebrated her 3rd baptismal anniversary.
• My laptop died on me in the middle of a hectic week at work.
• Which led me to get a Mac. Which seems to be eating me up alive with every simple command that I can't figure out without the help of my brother or the Internet.
• I've started reading books again.
• I'm actually planning to buy a car.
• And to get life insurance. As in legit planning, with quotations and loans and stuff.
• I've achieved my weight goal and I'm actually maintaining it.
• I've enrolled Brianna for this coming school year.
• I hung out in a Starbucks branch all by myself after a really, really, REALLY long time. I think the last time I did that was in college. It was so refreshing, I want to do it regularly.
• I got a new pair of glasses that makes me look like a hipster, according to a friend.
• I failed to finish the #100HappyDays project which bummed me out…but not quite.
• A lot of items on my wish list/bucket list have been ticked off, thanks to my wonderful new boyfriend who just keeps on granting everything on my lists. I'm not going to elaborate on what the items are/were but he's been doing that since we first saw each other again last September and I can't stop thanking him for it. I mean, it takes a lot of effort (and money) to get some of the things done (of course, a lot of them are easy and free) but I never heard him complain.
• I might have found the perfect dress for my friend's wedding this November.
• Brianna told me that I'm "very awesome", which is probably the best entry here.
• Which I tweeted. I don't tweet as much, too, so there goes constantly documenting my life online.
• Also stopped reading my Twitter timeline/browsing through my Instagram feed 509375894072101948578461807492 times a day. It's oddly refreshing.

I guess that's everything. I don't know how to get everything out and I am not doing one post for each item so I made a list. It's not chronologically arranged or something. I just wanted to take note of how exhausting but at the same time, exhilarating the past few weeks/months have been for me. The short-term memory loss that general anesthesia has given me will probably wipe my memory clean by the end of the first half of the year, might as well document what I remember now.

I am quite thankful for how everything is turning out. Despite the many, many, many disappointments, I feel that everything is falling into place. How can I not be grateful, right?

Day 59. #100HappyDays

So I saw this new product from Pancake House and immediately wanted to try it. I first saw the Nutella-banana-bacon-toast dish in this specific spot, too, and wanted to try it right away so when I saw this, I wanted to try it, too.

A lot of good great things happened today like:

1. Getting hired for a job I never thought I would do but might be my calling.
2. The news regarding Brianna that went along with it.
3. Tita Susan's adobo and fried tinapa wraps, which I totally missed.
4. Tatay's e-mail.
5. Talking with Ate.
6. The Declaros' spicy ginataang sigarilyas.
7. Brianna, watching Frozen with the Declaro kids.
8. J&J freebies c/o Angel.
9. Spending the entire day with my loves.

So thankful for all the blessings I've received!

Day 51. #100HappyDays

No matter how busy this guy is, he makes it a point to call every once in a while just to check on me and my daughter. It’s a small gesture but it speaks a lot.

Day 50. #100HappyDays

HIMYM series finale viewing party at Ren’s place last night. Although we all didn’t like the ending, we had fun watching the last episode EVER of How I Met Your Mother together.

Day 44. #100HappyDays

Reading this article that was shared on Facebook made my morning and to be quite frank, my entire day. Why? Because it reminded me that I have someone who makes me want to be a better person and not just someone who I can walk hand-in-hand with in the mall.

Single mom woes...

...or maybe just PMS. Or both.

I'm here, stuck at home on a Friday night, staring at my cousin's photo with Passion while listening to my favorite person sleeping soundly at the other end of the line and cuddling with my little angel as I type...

I know, I should be ranting right about now and the title and the first few lines of this post are your clues but halfway through the post, my mood suddenly shifted and I'm too darn lazy to change everything so I'm sorry if I'll confuse you and I won't make sense anymore but yeah I suddenly felt good.

I suddenly don't feel the need to rant how sucky today was or how hard it is to be a single, fulltime mom who works freelance and lives with other people who don't believe in her decision-making capabilities or how I should've watched Jeremy Passion's concert with my cousin... The ill thoughts just all went away. The reminder of having these two most important people in my life with me as I go to sleep changed all that. For a while there, I forgot how these two people love and appreciate me. Maybe that's the reason why I was having a bad day...