Day 11. #100HappyDaysV2.0

I had to shut my mouth for this girl right here despite the mean things that have been said about me. I'm enduring every blow thrown my way to give her the best life I can offer her.

It's been a long, long while.

A lot has been happening these past few weeks/months but I haven't bombarded this place with the nonsense in my head. I don't know why, actually. Probably because I'm having way too much fun with everything, despite the fact that some of the things that's happened actually tore me into pieces. I don't know, maybe I've finally learned to see the good in it even though it hurts.

So what has happened these past few weeks/months? Let's see…

• I've FINALLY been to Boracay.
• And I actually went snorkeling!
• And banana boat-ing!
• Although I didn't get a tan.
• But the Boracay sunset…ohmygod, it really is as pretty as everyone says it is.
• I went hotel-hopping. Mind you, these are not cheap ass hotels you find along Malate or something.
• I've managed to "dump" all the people that I don't want and need in my life, including the people related to them.
• I had a major falling out with my dad.
• But we're okay now. I think.
• I got a full-time online job.
• Brianna started and ended her summer class with flying colors.
• My friends now know how crazy I get when I'm in a relationship.
• I'm in a relationship.
• But not without a falling out that almost led to a "break-up" even if we weren't really together yet that time.
• Brianna celebrated her 3rd baptismal anniversary.
• My laptop died on me in the middle of a hectic week at work.
• Which led me to get a Mac. Which seems to be eating me up alive with every simple command that I can't figure out without the help of my brother or the Internet.
• I've started reading books again.
• I'm actually planning to buy a car.
• And to get life insurance. As in legit planning, with quotations and loans and stuff.
• I've achieved my weight goal and I'm actually maintaining it.
• I've enrolled Brianna for this coming school year.
• I hung out in a Starbucks branch all by myself after a really, really, REALLY long time. I think the last time I did that was in college. It was so refreshing, I want to do it regularly.
• I got a new pair of glasses that makes me look like a hipster, according to a friend.
• I failed to finish the #100HappyDays project which bummed me out…but not quite.
• A lot of items on my wish list/bucket list have been ticked off, thanks to my wonderful new boyfriend who just keeps on granting everything on my lists. I'm not going to elaborate on what the items are/were but he's been doing that since we first saw each other again last September and I can't stop thanking him for it. I mean, it takes a lot of effort (and money) to get some of the things done (of course, a lot of them are easy and free) but I never heard him complain.
• I might have found the perfect dress for my friend's wedding this November.
• Brianna told me that I'm "very awesome", which is probably the best entry here.
• Which I tweeted. I don't tweet as much, too, so there goes constantly documenting my life online.
• Also stopped reading my Twitter timeline/browsing through my Instagram feed 509375894072101948578461807492 times a day. It's oddly refreshing.

I guess that's everything. I don't know how to get everything out and I am not doing one post for each item so I made a list. It's not chronologically arranged or something. I just wanted to take note of how exhausting but at the same time, exhilarating the past few weeks/months have been for me. The short-term memory loss that general anesthesia has given me will probably wipe my memory clean by the end of the first half of the year, might as well document what I remember now.

I am quite thankful for how everything is turning out. Despite the many, many, many disappointments, I feel that everything is falling into place. How can I not be grateful, right?

Yes, I'm a virgin...

Donation virgin, that is.

I haven't donated money on my own since I started working in 2009. Yeah, I did churches, fundraising concerts/bingos/bazaars and street children but this time, it's the big leagues and I'm just proud of myself for doing it.

I don't have much and donating the amount I donated, well, let's just say I gotta work more hours to get it back but honestly, it felt great!

I don't know if this is some kind of unconditional love gesture kind of thing but I know what these people are going through with the Maring aftermath. I've been in that same position 4 years ago: No place to stay, no change of clothes, nowhere to get food, no water... I wouldn't even wish for those things to happen to my enemies, no matter how much I hate dislike them. It's just an unfortunate position to be in. Being able to help them stand up from where they are now in my own little way...well, that's just priceless.

PS. I would've volunteered, too, if I wanted to but I have things to attend to ie. my sick daughter.

PPS. I'm sorry if this comes across as being full of myself but I'm just proud I did it, okay. This is me, patting myself on the back for a job well done.

Under pressure.

This year, I started thinking of buying my own condo unit. It's kinda crazy for someone whose income is the same as mine... It gets crazier, though: I told myself to get one in 5 year's time. Well, maybe to some it's not that hard because they have good-paying jobs or their parents can actually get them one but I am not that blessed financially.

Anyway, I am now thinking of moving my deadline because I was suddenly struck by the realization that Brianna is turning 3 next year, meaning she has to go to school soon after that. Great, private education has always been - and forever will be - important to me despite what other people (a.k.a. the babydaddy) say so it will be my top priority for the next 20 years (K-12 will last 15 years, right?) meaning if I don't find any place else to get additional - hopefully, passive - income in the next few years, I might as well bid my 2-BR condo unit goodbye. If I marry a multi-millionaire who won't mind living in a condo unit in the South, then that will be an entirely different story.

Right now, though, I am trying to be Miss Independent which is pretty hard for someone with a skill set like mine. I write, sure, but it's not good enough to be published in any well-respected magazine and/or website. I don't have any passion in crafts-making, cooking or baking which can be a great source of income especially during the holidays and working for a corporation isn't really part of the plan. The business thing really is the most interesting one for me but first, I have to save up for capital which brings me back to my initial problem.

Hope I hit the Lotto jackpot so we can all forget my ramblings here.

Haters.

A friend made me realize a few minutes ago that I have a rather quiet life now that I've decided to "settle down".

She's been complaining on Twitter about this unknown number who keeps on bugging her through text. It reminded me of those endless bickering I used to do with random numbers, stalkers and online accounts back in college. If I have a hunch on who they are, I insult them non-stop, knowing I have the upperhand - I was studying in a prestigious university, I have the guy with me, I speak/type in complete, English sentences and I know I was prettier than them even if I was much, much, much chubbier. I would not get tired of bashing them and picking on all their flaws and even get satisfaction when they block me or when they throw away their sim cards.

Now, I can't imagine myself starting up a fight with psycho exes and insecure girlfriends. First and foremost, my babydaddy is 10 years my senior (Did I use that phrase correctly?) meaning all of his exes are probably married now and I bet they're too old to make patol even if I started a bitch fight. Second, I wouldn't dare get into fights with "old" people because they would probably go "Mas magaling ako sayo" on me. Which annoys the hell out of me because age doesn't justify the way you think. Lastly, I guess it's simply because I finally got tired of this kind of drama. I mean, after 7 years and 2 ex-boyfriends, you'd get tired of trying to prove how in love you are with each other to people who you don't even care about. You don't have to explain to people who care about you and people you care about because they understand. If they don't, they will still be genuinely happy for you.

I tweeted her this towards the end of our conversation on Twitter:

Exciting yang ganyan. Wala nang gumaganyan sakin pero di ko namimiss. Lumagay nako sa tahimik... Hahahaha! :))

Yes, it WAS fun especially if you know you're so much better, wittier and prettier than the other person but there will come a time that you'll know that it isn't worth it anymore, that there are more important things than trying to prove yourself to other people.