Finally, Blogger has an iPhone application!

Since the moment I started using this phone, I've been praying for Blogger to come up with an iPhone application and now, it's finally here! Thank you, App Store! Now I don't have a reason not to blog anymore. :)

On divorce...

Since a divorce bill is now on its way, I feel the need to air my thoughts on it so here goes.

I AM ANTI DIVORCE.

I am anti divorce simply because I don't think you'll bring someone to the altar if you don't love that person. I mean, why marry someone if you will someday give up? Isn't marriage about commiting yourself to LOVING and UNDERSTANDING the person you are with for the rest of both your lives? And doesn't love mean forgiveness? I don't think it will be hard to give someone forgiveness if you acually love him/her?

And in the part of the person who will cheat, why do it if you love your partner?

My thoughts in this are the same as my thoughts in suicide: No reason is reasonable enough for you to do it.

Love, like your mind, is a very powerful thing if you know its real meaning and essence.

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Can someone help me update my phone's software? iTunes is driving me insane!

It's gonna be love. It's gonna be strong enough.

...I honestly believe this.

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Today's one of them days.

How do you tell someone that they're being selfish?

What if they tell you they're not being selfish? How do you ask them, then, to reevaluate their thoughts because all they think about is how they will feel and most probably how people will look at them?

How do you tell them they're robbing you and your kid of your right to have your own family?

How do you make them understand that what you're doing is for your kid and your little family?

How do you ask all these questions without them thinking you're 'nagmamarunong'?

More importantly, how do you ask all these questions without backing off when they start playing with your conscience and pulling the 'Wala kang paki sa nararamdaman namin' card?

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I would've dedicated the song Because You Loved Me to my parents but...

They didn't see the best there was in me becaue if they did, they would've believed I could handle being a mom, a wife and living on my own.

And more importantly, they didn't give me faith because they didn't believe I can.

This part of me sucks.

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Baptismal seminar slapped me in the face.

Bry and I went to the baptismal seminar in the Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes in Retiro (Ninongs and Ninangs, take note!) last Friday. Bry's mom and his cousin, Jane, conducted the seminar. I was soooo sleepy and I thought I knew everything they will be saying there (e.g. Reason for white dress, annointing of oil, etc.) since I graduated from a Catholic school. Twice. Boy, was I wrong.

Being a parent requires a whole lot of work. Yes, providing for the child and caring for him/her, in itself, is hardwork already. But they pointed out that what you do - and not what you say - is more important. Think about your parents for a while. They always say stuff to you, right? Like eat your vegetables, go home early, etc. But do THEY do it? A parent's job is to be an example. And that, my friends, is the most crucial part of being a parent. The kids will look at what you are doing, how you are doing things, how you respond to what's happening around you (eep!).

Now, how did that affect me? Simple. I responded quite weakly to the situation involving me and my little family. The situation swallowed me whole and I have succumbed to what my parents have been forcing me to do out of guilt (I am constantly being reminded that I am the biggest problem in their lives and that I am the reason why they've been very stressed, which sounds stupid considerig they brought the stress upon themselves when they decided to meddle with Bry and my decision to get married). Upon leaving the seminar, I realized that I need to fix this situation, pronto. Bry can only help so much. Everything, pretty much, is on my shoulders.

Now that I think about it, I have been bringing everything to myself. Everything includes not being married to Bry and living apart from him, Brianna's surname (which will be a big hassle when we change it), my frustrations of not being able to live my OWN life and so much more. I have the capability to decide. I know it. But the guilt is pulling me so far down that if I don't do anything about it, I might just rot in my parent's house without a husband and a child who will be blaming me for not fighting for her dad.

Yes, all of those thoughts were running in my mind during the seminar. The listening and storing part of my mind was on auto-pilot that night so I got the details I needed to remember for the baptism so I was able to go into deep thinking then. Which led to the conversation I had with Bry later that night. Which is an entirely different story.

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Question.

Kung ang pagsisinungaling ay ang hindi pagsasabi ng totoo, ano ang tawag sa hindi pagsasabi ng kahit ano para lang hindi pagsimulan ng gulo?

Would it be considered 'lying' if you didn't say anything at all to block off potential arguements? E panu kung relevant yung issue na yun sa pagbbuild ng trust?

Do I have the right to get mad/hurt kung malalaman ko yung mga bagay-bagay sa ibang tao kesa sa taong may sala?

Pano kung napagsimulan na ng di pagkakaintindihan yun dati at nabigyan na ng solusyon tapos di nasunod ang naunang napagkasunduan sa pagkakataong ito? Do I have the right to get mad/hurt then?

Hindi ba dapat magsabi ng mga paroroonan at mga ginagawa ang mag-asawa? Dapat ba itago nalang yung mga ganyang bagay para di pagsimulan ng gulo? Dapat ba pag nagkaalaman di nalang kumprontahin ang isa't isa para lang 'tahimik' ang isang pagsasama?

Gusto ko lang malaman. Kasi baka naman mamaya wala naman talaga akong karapatang gawin ang kahit ano pagdating sa mga ganyan. Baka kasi dapat di magpakielaman since di naman kami magkasama sa bahay.

Gusto ko lang malaman.

KAILANGAN ko lang malaman.

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My dad has a friggin' iPhone. MY. DAD. HAS. A FRIGGIN'. I. PHONE. *bitter*

My rusty, old phone...

I've had this phone (Nokia E63) since '09 and I've been meaning to change phones. I wanted to get an iPhone since iPhone 2 was released but getting it meant I had to work 2 jobs or I had to live in our office then to save money. So alas, up until now, iPhone's still a dream for me.

Then I wanted to get a Blackberry just for the hell of it but thought that it won't be worth it because I didn't really want it.

So I thought getting a Nokia phone again - since it's the only user-friendly phone - but thought the money should be going to something more important than a phone so I'm not getting a new phone anymore since I am using Nokia now. I just hope my rusty old phone lasts til I get another job. :)

Blackberry or iPhone?

Okay, like Jill, I am having this urge to get a BB. But I really, really, really want an iPhone.

I want a BB because I want an upgrade. That's it.

I want an iPhone because it's oh-so-awesome. At least for me. But as of now, I can't afford it. Actually, I won't be able to afford it anytime soon because money has to go somewhere else. Somewhere cute and cuddly. :D

Anyhoo, I think I'm getting a BB one of these days. Not the expensive ones, the cheapest one from Globe lang. I just want an upgrade, anyway.