Since a divorce bill is now on its way, I feel the need to air my thoughts on it so here goes.
I AM ANTI DIVORCE.
I am anti divorce simply because I don't think you'll bring someone to the altar if you don't love that person. I mean, why marry someone if you will someday give up? Isn't marriage about commiting yourself to LOVING and UNDERSTANDING the person you are with for the rest of both your lives? And doesn't love mean forgiveness? I don't think it will be hard to give someone forgiveness if you acually love him/her?
And in the part of the person who will cheat, why do it if you love your partner?
My thoughts in this are the same as my thoughts in suicide: No reason is reasonable enough for you to do it.
Love, like your mind, is a very powerful thing if you know its real meaning and essence.
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Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Binyagan blues
So last Saturday was Brianna's christening. It was held at the Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes and it was a very inspiring ceremony. There are times during the ceremony where I catch myself about to cry so I stop myself. It was really hot because a red head was set up in the church, near us (Thank you, TVSTYLE, for the coverage of this momentous moment - redundant much? - of our family's life.) but Brianna was surprisingly quiet and calm throughout the ceremony. The priest even said that he barely baptizes a baby who doesn't cry. Even when water was being poured to her head, she maintained her silence...she had her super cute sad face on, though.
After the church ceremony, we went to Master Bee in Ortigas (I personally like the food. The pancit was uber yummy.) for lunch. Most of the people we invited were there and I really had fun (trying to) entertain them. I secretly thought of it as practice for when Bry and I get married. Hee. So, anyway, the whole time I had Kat as my aliping sagigilid (Thank you so much, Lovey! I shall be your PA again... Pagdating ng panahon. Haha!) while I was busy trying to breastfeed in public.
I was so touched by my parents - in fairness - because they actually mingled with the De Leons and they ENJOYED it. I was kinda thinking that they'll be hesitant to talk to them and end up not talk to them. This is faaaaaar too good. As Joanne has said, ang susunod nito, kasalan na.
As I've previously said, TVSTYLE was kind enough to cover this very memorable ceremony (for free?) in video and in photo. And since everyone (almost) is a PSI grad and sales people, they were friendly to almost everyone. Apprently but not surprisingly, Sir Aries was the one who stood out because of his really friendly personality that some even thought of him as papansin. But he doesn't really care about what other people think so...
My and Bry's friends, of course, have been really awesome for just being there. I've missed everyone and I'm very thankful that they are there to celebrate with us. Lau, Ella, Jackie, Jayvee and everyone who didn't make it, I know you would've been there if you could and for that alone, I am thankful.
Red ampaos (spelling?) were flying their way to me the whole time that I got so overwhelmed. Ganun pala yun? Hee. I'm sorry, I am not observant during my inaanaks' binyags. Hee. But I have to say that Malia's "ampao" was the best one. Sorry, Kat, Jill and Sara, natalbugan kayo ni Malia.
So, anyway, after lunch, we went to Packo's in QC for the Thank You party for everyone who wanted to have a drink and (surprise, surprise) I didn't have any alcoholic drink. Which is okay, I guess because I don't think I will like drinking alcohol again. Pero di ako magsasalita ng tapos dahil malay ba natin, diba?
Got to have a heart-to-heart talk with Joanne which was nice. What's nicer was seeing my parents' bonding sesh with Bry's parents. It was heartwarming and, again, as Joanne said: Kasalan na ang susunod niyan.
After Packo's we went to Stone House for Joanne's Starshooters goal. She sang two songs with the band while the gang ordered 2 rounds of San Mig Light. As for me, I had a can of Coke and a glass of water.
The weirdest thing, though, was an OLD Australian man was hitting on me. It was one thing a WHITE GUY hit on me (all of us Filipinos know what that means), an OLD guy was an extremely different one. What the hell, bakit yun ang naattract ko? A different kind of eew. So anyway, one of my friends said I am Bry's wife and he just said "She's just the prettiest one here". Bry was really protective after that, to the point where he blocked the old man when we were on our way out.
Bry was really sweet that night, holding my hand and hugging and kissing me in front of all those people - which he rarely does.
All in all, I was really happy that day both for Brianna and for our little family. I really can't wait for Bry and I to get married and all of us three live under one roof. That day will probably be the happiest day of my life.
Note: This entry will be reposted with pictures as soon as I collect all photos of mi Bebe's baptism.
After the church ceremony, we went to Master Bee in Ortigas (I personally like the food. The pancit was uber yummy.) for lunch. Most of the people we invited were there and I really had fun (trying to) entertain them. I secretly thought of it as practice for when Bry and I get married. Hee. So, anyway, the whole time I had Kat as my aliping sagigilid (Thank you so much, Lovey! I shall be your PA again... Pagdating ng panahon. Haha!) while I was busy trying to breastfeed in public.
I was so touched by my parents - in fairness - because they actually mingled with the De Leons and they ENJOYED it. I was kinda thinking that they'll be hesitant to talk to them and end up not talk to them. This is faaaaaar too good. As Joanne has said, ang susunod nito, kasalan na.
As I've previously said, TVSTYLE was kind enough to cover this very memorable ceremony (for free?) in video and in photo. And since everyone (almost) is a PSI grad and sales people, they were friendly to almost everyone. Apprently but not surprisingly, Sir Aries was the one who stood out because of his really friendly personality that some even thought of him as papansin. But he doesn't really care about what other people think so...
My and Bry's friends, of course, have been really awesome for just being there. I've missed everyone and I'm very thankful that they are there to celebrate with us. Lau, Ella, Jackie, Jayvee and everyone who didn't make it, I know you would've been there if you could and for that alone, I am thankful.
Red ampaos (spelling?) were flying their way to me the whole time that I got so overwhelmed. Ganun pala yun? Hee. I'm sorry, I am not observant during my inaanaks' binyags. Hee. But I have to say that Malia's "ampao" was the best one. Sorry, Kat, Jill and Sara, natalbugan kayo ni Malia.
So, anyway, after lunch, we went to Packo's in QC for the Thank You party for everyone who wanted to have a drink and (surprise, surprise) I didn't have any alcoholic drink. Which is okay, I guess because I don't think I will like drinking alcohol again. Pero di ako magsasalita ng tapos dahil malay ba natin, diba?
Got to have a heart-to-heart talk with Joanne which was nice. What's nicer was seeing my parents' bonding sesh with Bry's parents. It was heartwarming and, again, as Joanne said: Kasalan na ang susunod niyan.
After Packo's we went to Stone House for Joanne's Starshooters goal. She sang two songs with the band while the gang ordered 2 rounds of San Mig Light. As for me, I had a can of Coke and a glass of water.
The weirdest thing, though, was an OLD Australian man was hitting on me. It was one thing a WHITE GUY hit on me (all of us Filipinos know what that means), an OLD guy was an extremely different one. What the hell, bakit yun ang naattract ko? A different kind of eew. So anyway, one of my friends said I am Bry's wife and he just said "She's just the prettiest one here". Bry was really protective after that, to the point where he blocked the old man when we were on our way out.
Bry was really sweet that night, holding my hand and hugging and kissing me in front of all those people - which he rarely does.
All in all, I was really happy that day both for Brianna and for our little family. I really can't wait for Bry and I to get married and all of us three live under one roof. That day will probably be the happiest day of my life.
Note: This entry will be reposted with pictures as soon as I collect all photos of mi Bebe's baptism.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
After years of denying it to myself and everyone else, I am now coming clean.
I KINDA SORTA SOME KINDOVA
LIKE RIHANNA.
There, I said it.
Monday, May 23, 2011
EXACTLY!
This is another thing I hate about him. He thinks that just because he says so, or it's something he believes in, it's automatically correct. (Cruz, 2011)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
It's gonna be love. It's gonna be strong enough.
...I honestly believe this.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Today's one of them days.
How do you tell someone that they're being selfish?
What if they tell you they're not being selfish? How do you ask them, then, to reevaluate their thoughts because all they think about is how they will feel and most probably how people will look at them?
How do you tell them they're robbing you and your kid of your right to have your own family?
How do you make them understand that what you're doing is for your kid and your little family?
How do you ask all these questions without them thinking you're 'nagmamarunong'?
More importantly, how do you ask all these questions without backing off when they start playing with your conscience and pulling the 'Wala kang paki sa nararamdaman namin' card?
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What if they tell you they're not being selfish? How do you ask them, then, to reevaluate their thoughts because all they think about is how they will feel and most probably how people will look at them?
How do you tell them they're robbing you and your kid of your right to have your own family?
How do you make them understand that what you're doing is for your kid and your little family?
How do you ask all these questions without them thinking you're 'nagmamarunong'?
More importantly, how do you ask all these questions without backing off when they start playing with your conscience and pulling the 'Wala kang paki sa nararamdaman namin' card?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, May 16, 2011
I would've dedicated the song Because You Loved Me to my parents but...
They didn't see the best there was in me becaue if they did, they would've believed I could handle being a mom, a wife and living on my own.
And more importantly, they didn't give me faith because they didn't believe I can.
This part of me sucks.
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And more importantly, they didn't give me faith because they didn't believe I can.
This part of me sucks.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Baptismal seminar slapped me in the face.
Bry and I went to the baptismal seminar in the Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes in Retiro (Ninongs and Ninangs, take note!) last Friday. Bry's mom and his cousin, Jane, conducted the seminar. I was soooo sleepy and I thought I knew everything they will be saying there (e.g. Reason for white dress, annointing of oil, etc.) since I graduated from a Catholic school. Twice. Boy, was I wrong.
Being a parent requires a whole lot of work. Yes, providing for the child and caring for him/her, in itself, is hardwork already. But they pointed out that what you do - and not what you say - is more important. Think about your parents for a while. They always say stuff to you, right? Like eat your vegetables, go home early, etc. But do THEY do it? A parent's job is to be an example. And that, my friends, is the most crucial part of being a parent. The kids will look at what you are doing, how you are doing things, how you respond to what's happening around you (eep!).
Now, how did that affect me? Simple. I responded quite weakly to the situation involving me and my little family. The situation swallowed me whole and I have succumbed to what my parents have been forcing me to do out of guilt (I am constantly being reminded that I am the biggest problem in their lives and that I am the reason why they've been very stressed, which sounds stupid considerig they brought the stress upon themselves when they decided to meddle with Bry and my decision to get married). Upon leaving the seminar, I realized that I need to fix this situation, pronto. Bry can only help so much. Everything, pretty much, is on my shoulders.
Now that I think about it, I have been bringing everything to myself. Everything includes not being married to Bry and living apart from him, Brianna's surname (which will be a big hassle when we change it), my frustrations of not being able to live my OWN life and so much more. I have the capability to decide. I know it. But the guilt is pulling me so far down that if I don't do anything about it, I might just rot in my parent's house without a husband and a child who will be blaming me for not fighting for her dad.
Yes, all of those thoughts were running in my mind during the seminar. The listening and storing part of my mind was on auto-pilot that night so I got the details I needed to remember for the baptism so I was able to go into deep thinking then. Which led to the conversation I had with Bry later that night. Which is an entirely different story.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Being a parent requires a whole lot of work. Yes, providing for the child and caring for him/her, in itself, is hardwork already. But they pointed out that what you do - and not what you say - is more important. Think about your parents for a while. They always say stuff to you, right? Like eat your vegetables, go home early, etc. But do THEY do it? A parent's job is to be an example. And that, my friends, is the most crucial part of being a parent. The kids will look at what you are doing, how you are doing things, how you respond to what's happening around you (eep!).
Now, how did that affect me? Simple. I responded quite weakly to the situation involving me and my little family. The situation swallowed me whole and I have succumbed to what my parents have been forcing me to do out of guilt (I am constantly being reminded that I am the biggest problem in their lives and that I am the reason why they've been very stressed, which sounds stupid considerig they brought the stress upon themselves when they decided to meddle with Bry and my decision to get married). Upon leaving the seminar, I realized that I need to fix this situation, pronto. Bry can only help so much. Everything, pretty much, is on my shoulders.
Now that I think about it, I have been bringing everything to myself. Everything includes not being married to Bry and living apart from him, Brianna's surname (which will be a big hassle when we change it), my frustrations of not being able to live my OWN life and so much more. I have the capability to decide. I know it. But the guilt is pulling me so far down that if I don't do anything about it, I might just rot in my parent's house without a husband and a child who will be blaming me for not fighting for her dad.
Yes, all of those thoughts were running in my mind during the seminar. The listening and storing part of my mind was on auto-pilot that night so I got the details I needed to remember for the baptism so I was able to go into deep thinking then. Which led to the conversation I had with Bry later that night. Which is an entirely different story.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Question.
Kung ang pagsisinungaling ay ang hindi pagsasabi ng totoo, ano ang tawag sa hindi pagsasabi ng kahit ano para lang hindi pagsimulan ng gulo?
Would it be considered 'lying' if you didn't say anything at all to block off potential arguements? E panu kung relevant yung issue na yun sa pagbbuild ng trust?
Do I have the right to get mad/hurt kung malalaman ko yung mga bagay-bagay sa ibang tao kesa sa taong may sala?
Pano kung napagsimulan na ng di pagkakaintindihan yun dati at nabigyan na ng solusyon tapos di nasunod ang naunang napagkasunduan sa pagkakataong ito? Do I have the right to get mad/hurt then?
Hindi ba dapat magsabi ng mga paroroonan at mga ginagawa ang mag-asawa? Dapat ba itago nalang yung mga ganyang bagay para di pagsimulan ng gulo? Dapat ba pag nagkaalaman di nalang kumprontahin ang isa't isa para lang 'tahimik' ang isang pagsasama?
Gusto ko lang malaman. Kasi baka naman mamaya wala naman talaga akong karapatang gawin ang kahit ano pagdating sa mga ganyan. Baka kasi dapat di magpakielaman since di naman kami magkasama sa bahay.
Gusto ko lang malaman.
KAILANGAN ko lang malaman.
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Would it be considered 'lying' if you didn't say anything at all to block off potential arguements? E panu kung relevant yung issue na yun sa pagbbuild ng trust?
Do I have the right to get mad/hurt kung malalaman ko yung mga bagay-bagay sa ibang tao kesa sa taong may sala?
Pano kung napagsimulan na ng di pagkakaintindihan yun dati at nabigyan na ng solusyon tapos di nasunod ang naunang napagkasunduan sa pagkakataong ito? Do I have the right to get mad/hurt then?
Hindi ba dapat magsabi ng mga paroroonan at mga ginagawa ang mag-asawa? Dapat ba itago nalang yung mga ganyang bagay para di pagsimulan ng gulo? Dapat ba pag nagkaalaman di nalang kumprontahin ang isa't isa para lang 'tahimik' ang isang pagsasama?
Gusto ko lang malaman. Kasi baka naman mamaya wala naman talaga akong karapatang gawin ang kahit ano pagdating sa mga ganyan. Baka kasi dapat di magpakielaman since di naman kami magkasama sa bahay.
Gusto ko lang malaman.
KAILANGAN ko lang malaman.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Being a mom may just be the greatest thing that ever happened to me...
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO Y'ALL!
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Friday, May 6, 2011
Now that I think about it...
I am what you call a very showy girlfriend. You know, the type who hugs all the time, the one who always gives gifts even if there's no occassion, the one who greets you 'Happy Anniversary' every month, the one who wants to be all pacute to the boyfriend all the time.
Then I met Bry.
Bry is my exact opposite. No PDAs, no roses on Valentine's Day, no cutie patootie nonesense.
This frustrates me just because I've had boyfriends who responded positively to me when I showered them with corny text messages and hugs in front of dozens of people.
Talking to Kat yesterday made me realize how, beyond those cold stares he gives me when I go pacute on him, he cares so much. Yesterday also reminded me how different Bry is to everyone else I've dated. How I literally see myself walking down that aisle towards him. How I see myself being his wife. I didn't see this happen with myself before, even in the 7-year relationship I've had.
What also shocked me was even if he's MIA all the time, I'm not going around sneaking with some guy like I used to. I have found the ultimate love of my life and I am never letting him go.
It might be too early to tell for some. Some might even think it's just 'cause we have Brianna. But for me, it is because I can't see myself living with another man besides him.
Now, seeing myself being his wife and spending the rest of my life is one thing. Having a smooth-sailing ride with him is another.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Then I met Bry.
Bry is my exact opposite. No PDAs, no roses on Valentine's Day, no cutie patootie nonesense.
This frustrates me just because I've had boyfriends who responded positively to me when I showered them with corny text messages and hugs in front of dozens of people.
Talking to Kat yesterday made me realize how, beyond those cold stares he gives me when I go pacute on him, he cares so much. Yesterday also reminded me how different Bry is to everyone else I've dated. How I literally see myself walking down that aisle towards him. How I see myself being his wife. I didn't see this happen with myself before, even in the 7-year relationship I've had.
What also shocked me was even if he's MIA all the time, I'm not going around sneaking with some guy like I used to. I have found the ultimate love of my life and I am never letting him go.
It might be too early to tell for some. Some might even think it's just 'cause we have Brianna. But for me, it is because I can't see myself living with another man besides him.
Now, seeing myself being his wife and spending the rest of my life is one thing. Having a smooth-sailing ride with him is another.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I don't get what the hype is all about.
Every girl seems to be falling in-love with the younger prince after the Royal Wedding but, really? Prince Harry? Look at him. He looks like a fat comedian. Plus, being bald is in their genes.
Would you really, honestly, with all your heart want to spend the rest of your life with him even if he's not a prince?
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