Someone take me to the beach.

I had the very strong urge to flee last night. Just pack my bags, leave a note, and go. I don't now where we'd go off to but one thing's for sure: We're going somewhere near the sea.

I've often fantasized about living near the ocean, just waking up to the sound of the water hitting the shore, smelling coffee with that salty breeze everyday. It's probably not a good idea now that I have a daughter who I want to finish in top schools and universities but it was a damn good idea when it was just me.

I don't know why I've always had this fantasy. I don't surf and I don't think I will ever surf. I am so damn afraid of the sea and what's beneath its surface. I hate the feeling of sand in my slippers and I definitely can live without the stiff hair after a stroll by the shore but still, whenever I feel the need to relax, I picture myself on a beach with a beer in my hand, watching kids dig in the sand. There's just something about it that relaxes me.

If I could live near the beach, I would. I bet it would be a much simpler life, without everyone hustlin' every damn minute, without the pressure of actually succeeding in a career path you wouldn't have chosen for yourself in a million years - aminin, kahit naman workaholic ka at sinasabi mo sa social media na dream job mo yan, di yan ang pinapangarap ng puso mo - and without the expectations of becoming someone who is "important" to the world.

#72. I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar.

I am a frustrated musician, yes. I believe I wrote a song back in 2006 about the guy I was dating back then, when I was so sick and tired of always being number 2 to his "job". Which, when you think about it, is quite alright 'cause I didn't really like him all that much but it always is frustrating when you are not a priority when you make sure he doesn't feel he is not yours.

Anyway, that dream still hasn't died since I first had it way back 2001. I still haven't learned a thing about guitars but I kinda think it's okay 'cause a friend of mine - who's celebrating her birthday! - taught herself how to play the guitar and she's getting so good at it even with work and grad school and all.

So I stumbled upon a musician's friend website just this morning and the dream has once again started this fire in my heart. (Okay, I may be lying because I remember having a conversation with my boyfriend about it a few weeks ago but, yeah. Seeing sexy guitars can excite the hell out of someone like me.)

Now getting the urge to play More Than Words on my brother's guitar. That's the only song I actually remember how to play but I knew how to play Angel of Mine, too. I know that's not something you should brag about but those are the only two songs I know how to play, okay? It's worth documenting in case I bump my head and forget all about it.

One of the worst dreams I've had to date.

I tweeted this morning that I had a really bad dream that I didn't get to see the end of but good thing is, I've noted everything. Although, of course, there are some details I didn't get.

Anyway, can someone help me interpret it? It freaked the hell out of me when I woke up that I actually took the time to remember all the details I can the minute I started breathing normally again. I downloaded a dream interpreting app to understand my dream last night but it didn't have everything...

Note to self: If ever I don't end up with the guy I'm with now, I will never ever date anyone named Mike or Danny.

And yes, that's a The Simpsons Tapped Out icon on the upper left hand side of the photo.

Oplan Balik-Alindog 2013

Last year, my thinspiration was Megan Fox. This year, I have a new one:

Miranda Kerr. She gave birth to her baby in 2011 and yet by the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in November last year, she looks like that! It might be a long shot for someone with genes like mine (mom's side of the family is 'chunky') but knowing that she had to put on some sort of hardwork for her body to look like that, that's motivation enough for me.

I hope my new thinspiration get me somewhere this year. Actually, Megan Fox as thinspiration for last year wasn't too bad. I got tons of "Ang payat mo!" and "Parang di naman mommy..." compliments from friends and acquaintances alike plus a year-end flirting spree/ego boost capped it all off but this year, I am aiming for tons of two-syllable damns and probably an indecent proposal from the guy I like.

Multiply Flashback: Remix 2006

Taking a break from backing up my Multiply photos MANUALLY because I cannot take the hassle their export tool is giving me that I'd rather download all the photos one by one.

Anyway, this is one of the moments that I felt so proud of myself during college.

Remix 2006 Finals | August 4, 2006 | Teresa Yuchengco Auditorium, De La Salle University Manila campus

I completely forgot that once in my life, I actually danced in front of an audience. I mean legit dance because clubbing doesn't count. Even if I was so bitter GMG didn't accept my application back in college, I am so thankful they asked me to dance with them because that night was one of the nights that I felt most alive in my life.

Dream Interpretation

So I couldn't take it. I searched for the interpretation of my dream and I found out that a dream where someone is trying to kill you means you are insecure over something and it is eating you up inside. As for me, it might be my physical appearance (I need to lose 10 more pounds and I should start toning my body) or my hair that looks like a tumbleweed that I am having a hard time taming. Whatever it is, I need to resolve it so I'd stop dreaming the same dream again. Mainit kaya pakiramdam nung bala.

Can someone please answer this for me?

Is it wrong to fantasize about a celebrity - to the point that I dream about him every night - now that I am a mom?

I've been having weird, weird dreams lately.

What does dreaming about your ex-boyfriend and his super - uhm - smart girlfriend mean? Bitter-bitteran pako sa panaginip ko last night.

I read somewhere na when you dream about something - or someone - you want it subconsciously. I read naman somewhere else that whatever you dream about, it's the opposite of what you really want. Then there are other sources saying that it all depends on the signs in your dream (e.g. vases, flowers or rainy locations).

And not only my ex, but Enchong Dee has been a regular in my dreams lately too. I don't like him in any way but I don't hate him either. Anjan lang siya. But he seem to want me so bad that whenever he appears in my dreams, he kisses me on the lips. Smack, torrid, romantic, you name it.

Sorry, I always get sidetracked by my own thoughts. So, uhm, there. What does recurring dreams and regular "cast" in dreams mean?

I had a weird dream two nights ago...

I can't remember the exact details of my dream even the next morning, though.

Anyway, in my dream, Bry proposed with an engagement ring with this huge-ass diamond on it. I mean, HUGE. Also in the same dream was our wedding. As I've previously said, I can't remember the details (e.g. motif, who were there, etc) but I remember giving him my wedding vows and him, giving his wedding vows. I also remember him wearing the wedding ring on my finger. The ring was really really simple but it had a lot of small diamonds on it.

I don't know what that dream means (and I can't research now because the connection's fucked up) but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with huge changes that I am anticipating to happen like actually living with Bry under the same roof.

I had this dream last night...

I had this dream last night about my ex and his current girlfriend.

All three of us were in my room and I was telling his current girlfriend in this really mean and bitchy way how lucky she is she has him and all that crap while my ex was just playing with what looked like a comb.

I don't know why I've been having those kinds of dreams these past few weeks.

Maybe I should stop looking at his Facebook profile. That might make those kinds of dreams stop.