The Universe gives you what you ask for, nevertheless.

Do you remember asking for something specific (you think) from the Universe before and here it is, granting your wish...catch is you don't really want it anymore.

This happened to me just a while ago. I've just woken up from my nap and there it was, the answer to my prayers...two years ago. If we were in 2012, I would've jumped at the chance but we're not anymore. Now, it's just funny that the roles have been reversed and I'm finally the one who's all "Meh." Feels damn good, to be quite honest.

These two, my gahd.

Monica: I’m still not done not wanting to talk to you. 

Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right. 

Monica: What? 

Chandler: Well, that’s what we do. You know, I, I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then, you know, you think I’m all cute again. 

Monica: Really? I’m really tired of being your relationship tutor. You’re gonna have to figure this one out for yourself… You know what? If you’re too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don’t be in one.

YES I'M WATCHING THE SERIES AGAIN OKAY! DON'T JUDGE ME. I'M NOT FEELING 100% OKAY LATELY SO I NEED THIS.

Anyway, I've been really relating to these two since the first time I watched the series but I realized just now that I'm more of a Chandler than a Monica especially in my current relationship. Which is quite absurd considering I'm the one who hasn't been single for more than 6 months since I first started dating.

"Safe space" doesn't exist anymore!

Not even Twitter! It's so hard that I can't rant or rave about anything on Twitter anymore. I mean, I can't even post how proud I am of my weight loss without sounding like I am trying to fish compliments from those who can read my tweet.

Anyway, I really am proud of how I look now. I've been working really hard and I've sacrificed a lot of free chips, free cakes, and free steaks for me to reach my goal and I'm finally here! I tried on a few clothes I've been holding on to since I got pregnant in 2010 and they look better on me now than they did before! Now I just have to firm up (eh?) the pregnancy flabs and I'm good to go.

I'd post photos if I weren't too self-conscious of how Haggardo Versoza my face looks like. Also, my room is too messy to show the world.

I need new clothes! Universe, if you're reading this, I terribly need to get that opportunity...of course, not only because I need new clothes but also because... I just need it and you probably know what it's about 'cause I keep on talking to you and God about it.

OS X Yosemite

So I updated my Mac OS to OS X Yosemite:

Please don't judge my choice of software/applications.

Now I truly want to dispose my Samsung tab, get an iPad (Mini), and finally get myself an iPhone (6 plus please Lord!) again.

Consumerism will be my downfall. Damn you, Apple, and your sexy gadgets!

The Power?

I forgot how powerful wish lists and vision boards are. I just posted my wish list for this Christmas last Monday, right? Well, my mom decided she wanted to get me something and actually got me this:

Tomorrow, I'm going back to wish listing and vision board-ing my ass off.

#72. I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar.

I am a frustrated musician, yes. I believe I wrote a song back in 2006 about the guy I was dating back then, when I was so sick and tired of always being number 2 to his "job". Which, when you think about it, is quite alright 'cause I didn't really like him all that much but it always is frustrating when you are not a priority when you make sure he doesn't feel he is not yours.

Anyway, that dream still hasn't died since I first had it way back 2001. I still haven't learned a thing about guitars but I kinda think it's okay 'cause a friend of mine - who's celebrating her birthday! - taught herself how to play the guitar and she's getting so good at it even with work and grad school and all.

So I stumbled upon a musician's friend website just this morning and the dream has once again started this fire in my heart. (Okay, I may be lying because I remember having a conversation with my boyfriend about it a few weeks ago but, yeah. Seeing sexy guitars can excite the hell out of someone like me.)

Now getting the urge to play More Than Words on my brother's guitar. That's the only song I actually remember how to play but I knew how to play Angel of Mine, too. I know that's not something you should brag about but those are the only two songs I know how to play, okay? It's worth documenting in case I bump my head and forget all about it.

This song!

Please remember that I am a proud jologs.

On that note, I looooooooove this song!


Every Pinoy (ABS-CBN) teleserye and movie from the past - I don't know - 2 years? has this song on their track list and it always, always, ALWAYS gets stuck in my head right after hearing it. Even if I don't know any lyric, the melody just sticks to you... No? Just me? Okay. I don't care. I just freakin' love this song.

I don't even watch Arrow.

But, yeah, this pretty much sums me up.

I love quizzes. Bite me.

Wishlist 2014

If I am not mistaken, this is my first wish list for the year which says a lot but I am not going to talk about that anymore.

Anyhoo, here are the stuff I've been lusting for these past few months:

Just 'cause I finally look decent in a bikini again.

I am willing to let my Samsung smartphone go for an iPhone 6 Plus.

For MacBook Air 11"

Honestly, I need an entirely different wardrobe with a lot of the same stuff I already have and more (skater) dresses but with smaller sizes. I don't want to brag or anything but it seems like I'm 2 sizes smaller than most clothes I have now. The sacrifices have finally paid off. Oplan Balik-Alindog 2014... Challenge completed!

Lily Aldrin

http://2plunq3tkzat3cwrit1poghlzw7.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2014/04/Lily-Stills-lily-aldrin-9609400-1470-2200.jpg

After years and years and years of watching and re-watching How I Met Your Mother, I've finally realized why I was always ready to scratch my friends' eyes out whenever they call dibs on her when the Sino-ka-sa-*insertshowhere*? game comes up during our drinking sessions: She has the most patient, understanding, loving, and supportive husband. Despite the freakout she always has when something huge comes up, her husband stands by her...even if that meant him, getting hurt in the process. I want that.

Also, she's way hot in season 2 so there you go.

Does this apply to EVERYONE?

"It's amazing how much your life opens up once you stop filling it with meaningless activities and pointless drama. Cut complainers, haters, manipulators, and other idiots out of your life and watch your life expand in every direction."

-Isaiah Hankel

Like, you know, cut people who are actually related to you out of your life to make everything bearable? I'm not saying treating them like they're dead or something but just - I don't know - stop letting them affect me and the decisions I make?

Sometimes the positive thinking quotes/advice I read online contradict each other, I don't know which one to follow anymore.

One of the best weekends of my life.

I enjoy going out with friends from time to time but I prefer staying at home. I don't know if I'm just extremely lazy or I'm what you call a homebody. Anyway, the ideal setting is someplace else rather than here at Pasig and that is exactly what I got just this weekend.

Lounging around the whole day and watching Masterchef US while cuddling with the two most important people in my life right now...that's all I did the past 3 days but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so refreshing to wake up without having to dread what the day will bring and much, much more refreshing to sleep without carrying all the burden, complaints, and all the blame of the whole day on my shoulders. Plus zero airplanes flying over the roof every 15 damn minutes can take all the anxiety away from you.

The past weekend has brought me nothing but love, acceptance, calm, and relaxation. I want that every damn day for the rest of my life.

PS. This Alex and Zoe sticker set from Viber perfectly captures how our weekend went...plus, of course, a toddler who kicks everyone else on the bed while she sleeps:

I can't move on. Best. Weekend. Ever.

Age-old question that seems to have no answer.

Disclaimer: This post is all over the place. You have been warned.

I know I've asked this billions of times over 300 million channels in the past but I still don't have an answer that satisfies me: Am I being selfish for SOMETIMES following what my gut tells me to do?

I seem to have finally found the courage to stand up to my bullies and assert myself but everyone else - at least, those I see on a normal basis - thinks that I am being selfish; thinking of just myself all the freakin' time. Normally, I would agree with them - because I have really low self-esteem - but thing is I don't feel like I'm being selfish now.

I know when I am just being a brat and like a normal human being, I'd deny it to anyone willing to listen but deep deep down, I know I'm just acting out. Now, though, even with all the drama, I know that I'm not doing all of these just for the hell of it. There are much, much deeper explanations that I have for thinking and talking the way that I do now. Problem is I am finally sick and tired of having to explain myself every damn time just to prove that what I'm doing is right, or at the very least, for the betterment of the situation. I mean, I've said and done it at least 5x in the past but I always, always end up being misinterpreted. That, or what I say is being deliberately taken out of context so they can blame me for screwing everything up.

So I did what they all wanted me to do: I shut up. No more opinions. No more anecdotes. No more "knowing it all". No more anything from me. I just clammed up. I still hear how immature I am being, how bratty I am, and how I screwed this family up by living in my own little world but at least I don't add up to the "mistakes" they think I make on a daily basis.

Now, I know they are blaming everything on the boyfriend. I mean, that's just how their minds work. They don't believe that I can come up with a decision all by myself. They don't believe I can actually think for myself (which is quite insulting if you think about it but I've been living with this for 26 years that it doesn't even bother me anymore). While I make all the decisions for both Brianna and I, Alfred has a played a part in all this by supporting me. Never in my 11 years of dating have I found someone so supportive that for the first time in my life, I am actually betting on myself. I've had these thoughts for the looooongest time but only now did I get the courage to actually pursue them one by one. I can never stress this enough: Support goes a long damn way. So technically, yes, he should get part of the blame because he believes in me and my ability to make things happen.

(I am drifting away from the original intention of this post. Selfishness. Yeah.)

After all that has been said and done, I believe that I am not selfish for doing the things that I do. I am not stepping on anyone's toes and I am not intentionally hurting those people who get affected. I do the things that I do because I need to do them...for myself and for my daughter. I am, first and foremost, a mom now and if people can't understand that, well, it's, quite frankly, not my problem anymore.

I'm jologs and I like it.

I usually pretend that I like sosyal stuff just so my social media followers - who are mostly friends from school - won't judge me but I really am a jologs at heart.

I've been watching recent movies these past few weeks. Two movies I've been really meaning to watch when they first came out in the theaters were part of the list: The Fault In Our Stars and She's Dating The Gangster.

Both movies have great reviews online, obviously, made by different sets of people and honestly, I enjoyed them both but one movie played with my emotions more...

http://cdnimages.abs-cbnnews.com/azure/she's%20dating.jpg 

I'm not even gonna try to convince you why this is the better movie of the two because, well, I know that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" yadda yadda yadda and this won't be a review of sorts. I just want to say that I really enjoyed this movie more than I did The Fault In Our Stars. Maybe it's because of Daniel Padilla's albularyo look or maybe Kathryn Bernardo's red-lips-aviators-white-button-down ensemble... I don't know. I just like it better, okay?